I read lots about hypochondria/health anxiety and the different causes, etc. But I never read much about this constant inability to trust doctors - all while seeking them out incessantly. Does anyone have anything they say to themselves when they just can't believe the doctor?
Since March, I've had a biopsy, pap smear, ultrasound and now my latest, a trip to the dermatologist to evaluate something I thought looked frightening on my hand. I didn't believe any of them until some magical time period passed; after I got today's verdict (either normal skin or at worst, a small wart. Definitely not a mole or cancer.) I still felt myself questioning.
The worst part is that I used to be better than this: At age 19, when I had the first of my approximately 3,000 C-word scares, all a doctor had to do was push on my stomach and say "no ma'am, I don't think so" and that worked. As the years went by, it became "well if one doc says it ok, but if TWO say it...". And that has brought me to where I am now - where I just don't trust any type of evaluation, done by any number of doctors.
I also find that the staying power of my reassurances (I already know reassurances don't work!) has gotten more and more brief. I recently went through this "my period won't come and it will be c-word!" thing; it started that the worrying would begin a week after the cycle ended. Now the worrying begins about the new cycle on day two of the current one.
I guess I'm just needing a different type of support today. I need to hear how someone overcame retesting and retesting and retesting (I know we all test, but I think there's a special group of us who do the repeats)