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Author Topic: Other people's lack of understanding makes me feel worse  (Read 114 times)

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Offline LyssaLou

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Other people's lack of understanding makes me feel worse
« on: June 08, 2014, 10:10:01 PM »
When I am having an awful day because of my anxiety, having anxiety attacks, anxious/worry some feelings/thoughts, etc, obviously no one truly understands. My parents unless they agree on how I should feel about something just tell me to calm down (which in my opinion is one of the most ignorant, insensitive things you can say to someone who suffers from anxiety) or my boyfriend gets frustrated with me because even though he never understands why I freak out over "little things" and gets frustrated that I sometimes freak out for so long. I can kinda understand his frustration, I mean from his point of view it makes no sense why I freak out but nonetheless it still hurts that nobody understands and isn't really sensitive. I understand their failure to be sensitive is because they don't understand and can't help that. You can't make anyone with a "healthy mind" understand truly how it feels; you have to experience it yourself to know. Sometimes it almost makes my feelings, thoughts, and anxiety attacks worse because I feel crazy because no one seems to understand or care. Any advice? Or know any websites or etc where there are more people who understand?
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Offline laurenm

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Re: Other people's lack of understanding makes me feel worse
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2014, 10:13:25 PM »
I completely understand where you're coming from and am sorry you're struggling with this frustration.

For me, what I try to do is say to the family member/friend, "Listen, I know you can't truly understand what I feel like right now, or where I'm coming from. And you know what? I'm glad, because I wouldn't wish this on anyone. And I know you love me and are trying to help, but rather than you try to 'fix' something that's not fixable, what would be most helpful for me is just an ear to listen and some arms to give me a hug."
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Offline poppadr3w

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Re: Other people's lack of understanding makes me feel worse
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2014, 10:13:52 AM »
People don't understand because, well... It does seem silly that we cannot merely calm ourselves down. I used to feel the same way when I saw people with anxiety and such... Until I had one of my own. And more, and my life has been chaotic ever since.

People, for the most part, will NOT understand unless they've experienced a panick attack. But you can try and explain it. When I sat my girlfriend (Now my fiancee) down and told her how these attacks made me feel, she seemed to understand a bit more. We had gone from a happy couple that'd frequent bars together and go out to just her going out and me sitting at home, too scared to even go out. She understood and I trusted her, but it sucked because we're both in our mid-20's and I want to ENJOY these years! But I knew that it was a work in progress and that eventually I'd reintegrate myself back into my old life, although probably with less drinking. But like I said, once I sat her down and looked deep into her eyes and said, "Look, this is what happens to me during these attacks just so you KNOW how it feels and I am not just being a pansy." Because, honestly, as a guy you're molded to believe that you're supposed to be made of steel. Emotions? NAH! I felt like I was weak, being controlled by such a small thing such as anxiety. But she understood and it actually brought us closer together that I opened up to her in such a way since that's what people in love should do.

Anyone that makes fun of you or isn't helpful isn't worth being in your life until they can be supportive. Negative energy is something that we do not need. Plus, I find that places such as this website are very helpful.

Best of luck to you.
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