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Author Topic: Anxiety about moving  (Read 145 times)

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Offline LisaNikks

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Anxiety about moving
« on: June 03, 2014, 05:50:05 PM »
My boyfriend and I are ready to move in together. Right now I live 5 minutes from where I work, have lived in this area my whole life (except for during college), and absolutely LOVE it. It is a hip and more urban area and I love that I work so close to home (sometimes I'm at the office until midnight or later.) My boyfriend lives about 20 minutes away. We want to find something centrally located between our parents, which would be the exact area he is in now. I have learned to be okay with living in that area and we have been looking for over 2 months in that city.

 Now, my boyfriend has always been in love with a city that is about 35 minutes from my work. I have told him REPEATEDLY that I do not want to live in this city, it is too far for me and my commute. He continues to bring up places in this area like I had never said anything about it being too far.  I thought I got through to him the other day when I told him that it was JUST TOO FAR. My mom and I even looked at a place he had found there and without going inside said it would never work because of the distance. I found out today during his turn to search for apartments (I was at work) that he and his sister went to the same place in that city and "fell in love" with the apartment. He said he really really wants me to come look at it because I would love it.

I'm so exhausted of saying no to this city but he won't let it go. My anxiety is THROUGH the roof over it because I know in my heart I don't want to live there but I feel like I'm constantly in a battle over it. I feel like my opinion is being ignored and I have no idea how to handle this anymore. Any suggestions?
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Anxiety about moving
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2014, 05:45:03 AM »
Honest answer. Tell him if he buys that apartment you don't like, he'll be living it alone. That you already told him so many times that you don't wish to live in that area. That will bring your message across loud and clear. Stick to your guns. That you won't be moving in with him if he buys that place. You want somewhere nearer to work. If it is not nearer to work you will be staying were you are at until the right place is found. Once he sees you are not joking around he will have second thoughts. His choices? The girl he loves or living alone. Just have to stand your ground.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Online tinam7

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Re: Anxiety about moving
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2014, 01:14:15 PM »
This conjures up crossroads in my past that had untold, endless consequences. This decision can set precedents for future differences.

Who is in charge?
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Offline LisaNikks

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Re: Anxiety about moving
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2014, 01:46:00 PM »
Thanks guys, I am standing my ground. He sees it like i'm not being flexible but he also understands. It's very strange. He asked me to at least look at the place, which I agreed to do, but I told him that it is just too far. The whole apartment search is really adding a lot of stress to my life right now and I just hope he can understand that.
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