I have never posted under this topic before, but I feel it is more closely related to the issue I am troubled by right now, which is that I think my family makes my anxiety worse.
Here is a little bit of background on my current situation. I am 22 years old, and I graduated college about three weeks ago. I was very happy about that. It seemed like my parents wanted me to move back home when I finished school, so I came back about a week ago. I did it mostly because I want to be there to help my family and take care of my parents, but not really because I wanted to be back in their house.
Truth be told, I actually do not like being here at all. My mother has issues of her own that she refuses to acknowledge. She is passive-aggressive and doesn't really speak her mind. And when you push her, she can get very, very mean. We have 14 dogs in the house because my mom wanted them, and they are poorly trained. They dig through trash, pee and poo on the floor, and make a mess everywhere. It is horrible.
My father, on the other hand, is....I don't know how to describe him in any other way than to say he's...pushy. He harbors very intense religious beliefs. He does not believe in mental illness, and when I tried to tell him I was sad, he told me I needed to pray more.
There is more, but that is enough background. After I was diagnosed with anxiety two years ago, I left home to finish school. Now that I am done, I have been at home for maybe a week and a half, and I realize why I left. I feel more anxious and stressed out being here. I have not been sleeping well at night, I have not been eating well, and I have been feeling horrible. I feel shaky and weak, and I have developed this twitch under my left eye, along with muscle twitching in other parts of my body. I have no privacy here, either: when my parents built this house, they decided not to put a lock on my door. I don't know why, because I was always too scared to get in trouble to misbehave.
So, I was recently called for a job interview in another city about four hours up the road. It isn't a bad job, and in a place where I can go to school and work, too. When I told my mom this, intending to get her advice and suggestions, she said, "Well, I make more money and I don't commute," with a laugh. I think she is mad because she wants me at home, but I do not want to be here. Her response really upset me. I didn't know what to say.
I am sorry for the rather long post, I really wanted to get this off my chest, as nobody here will listen to me...