So about 2 months ago my whole family had to move out of our house that we had lived in for 14 yrs, it just wasn't structurally sound anymore. Around the same time my parents decided to get a divorce they were together for 20 yrs as of last september. I was in 11th grade and decided to take a break from school because the stress of not knowing what was happening and having to keep my grades up was just to much ( i am going back to school in August and graduating in december). Me and my mom moved 11 miles away from our old house so we could check up every few days on the progress of the demo, my brother and our old neighbor are the ones tearing it down. This entire time since we moved i have been hiding my emotions and trying to stay strong for my mom who is a complete emotional mess, and now i don't really know how i feel about it. Like yesterday i watched them completely tear it down to the ground in less than an hour and i was actually happy, but then i stop to think about how i will never walk through that house ever again, i go from being happy about it to being sad to literally wanting to set it on fire and watch what's left of it burn. The thing that really makes me sad is that i couldn't take one of my walls from my room, this wall literally meant the world to me. You see i paint and i had painted a mural on that wall for my therapy cat Phoebe who had to be put down on Sept. 11 2013 because she had Leukemia, losing her nearly killed me ,we were inseparable. And not being able to take that wall was just like losing her all over again, i know that she wasn't the wall at least that how my mom puts it but i just cant let go of the fact that her wall is gone. I just i feel like this is all a horrible nightmare that i can't wake up from, it's like my brain isn't ready to except the fact that all of this has happened , is that weird? This whole process has made my Anxiety reach a completely different level and it scares me sometimes.