I've posted here a few times- my fears are really out there, although I can relate to other posts here that I've read!
I am currently studying for a master in (what else) mental health counseling, and am working with individuals with addiction disorders.
I've been through many classes, including psychopathology- and my mind gets glued to fearing psychosis and dissociative disorders.
I'd been diagnosed with OCD many years ago and have an awesome doctor who is completely aware of my fears/thoughts..including what I am about to share.
But sometimes I feel so isolated because of the nature of my "obsessions" and want to know whether anyone here has had anything similar!!
Sometimes I experience the derealization issue (feeling out of sorts/out of body) when I am in a level of heightened anxiety. My brain has made up its own imaginary friend, for lack of a better term, and those thoughts come in as a "voice" even though I know its my own brain making up the thoughts, and it is essentially me talking to me. Everyone has thoughts in their head, that is their own "voice" which is the same with me. Of course when this first started, I freaked out and, like many here, was afraid I was losing it, or experiencing what I now know to be a psychotic feature (hallucinations). All the while I have always been able to function, work, be in school, etc.. my doctor has always worked with me through behavioral therapy and I know I am not hallucinating...but I can't help but worry I am slipping into crazy.
Well, my other fear is at times that I am dissociating, and that my internal voice thoughts are me having an identity disorder. Again, I know I am only one person, I've never slipped into another identity, and I am always very aware of what I am going through.... etc.. so I am always ME. But, it is very scary to feel that anxious derealization and have those thoughts. Then I get freaked out that maybe I am dissociating or something, or that I am going crazy, or whatnot....that maybe all these years my doctor has misdiagnosed me. Which, I know to be a matter of OCD, that we question everything.
I don't know whether I am making any sense at all, but, I guess I could summarize this by saying I fear dissociation, or essentially losing a grip on my own self and whatnot. I'd love to know whether anyone else has experienced these fears and what you've done to alleviate them??
I really appreciate any support you can give me.