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Author Topic: No hope for me  (Read 146 times)

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Offline Jonnysmith

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No hope for me
« on: May 28, 2014, 01:15:39 PM »
I have reached the end of my tether, I am sure you may have read my earlier posts but I feel like this is it for me and I will never regain my normal life again, for this may as well give up. People tell me I should try and distract myself by going for walks or see friends and it will help but nothing helps I am too far gone with this. All day everyday I am stuck in these thoughts of who am I and I don't feel real and the world doesn't feel real, everything seems so bizarre and surreal. Why is my memory so so bad I don't remember things I will have done even a few hours ago. I am requesting citalopram on Friday from doctors and have had one session of psychology with a specialist but I am pretty sure not of this will help. How can meds or therapy change something that is this far gone? It's like I feel unconscious all day but I am functioning without knowing it, is life over for me please people be honest had anyone ever been in such a bad situation like this and ever got through this? Also I must point out I keep getting random memories from both my life/dreams popping into my head all day from nothing just random why could that happen? I am so scared I am only 33 has anyone been stuck like this forever?
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Offline bluerose

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Re: No hope for me
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2014, 03:30:59 AM »
There is hope for you.  Give the medicine and therapy a fair shake.  I too felt like there was no hope for me from age 13 to 29 before they had more effective treatments for OCD.  Citolapram (Celexa) really helped me and when I was switched to escitolapram (Lexapro) (it's sister medication) that has been working just as well.  During my dark days I literally could see no future for myself.  But what it really was -- the OCD had distorted my thoughts and I was living with a false belief system because of the OCD.  Just take it one day at a time.
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You wanted justice, but there was none, only love.

Offline gtripoli

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Re: No hope for me
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2014, 06:18:31 PM »
Yes, OCD will make you doubt everything. It feeds on whatever your worse case scenario is at a given time. Right now, for you, it's 'all hope is gone'. That likely scares you to no end. I know because I get those thoughts too.

For me, things have started to improve by simply changing my perspective a little. Simply realizing that these unwanted thoughts/feelings/urges are not really the problem. The problem is how I have reacted to them in the past. The more I argue with, disprove or neutralize a given thought, the more likely I am to experience that thought again. That's just what the mind does. Your mind is really a sophisticated bio-machine, it's not you. Who you are consists of much more than your thoughts.

I really think you would benefit from seeing someone that specializes in CBT and possibly ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy).
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