Chat Now!   Member Gallery    Member Articles    Games   Member Groups   Member Blogs   Health News    Bored?

Author Topic: MS fear has brought me here... Anyone else convinced they have it?  (Read 195 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline mrpig

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Hi everyone,

I'm pretty sure we all have massively long stories which have led to us being on here. I would be writing for hours, so I will keep it very short for now. I am 27, female with a beautiful 15 week old son. I have been convinced I have had several life threatening diseases over the years, but the past year has been consumed with my self diagnosis of MS. I am angry at myself for spending time looking on google, and going to the doctors or A&E when I should be spending with my son, yet it feels like a compulsion which I cannot stop. I know I sound irrational and mental so I don't talk to any of my friends or family about it. But I saw my GP the other day after being to A&E 3 times in a week and spending a total of 4 nights in hospital. I had a CT scan and MRI, both of the brain, and they were totally normal. My neuro exam which was done by several different consultants was also normal, yet this irrational Health anxiety voice in my head tells me that it is totally possible to have MS with a clear brain MRI and neuro exam, and although rare, I am the one who has it with only spine lesions. I could not persuade the doctors to do an MRI on my spine as they didn't believe it was necessary but I truly feel like I am losing my mind over this. I have migraines which changed to the ones with aura when I was pregnant and have stayed that way since my son was born. I get jagged lines through the vision of one eye for about half an hour before a migraine, and this triggered the MS obsession for me. My GP has given me propranolol which is primarily for migraines but also used for anxiety However 160mg a day is not enough to even touch my anxiety. Plus, one of it's side effects is tingling and numbness... which is one of the symptoms I have been worrying about. So all in all a vicious circle. Hoping I can connect with others through here and we can help and support each other!Mr pig xReplyQuoteNotify
Bookmark and Share

Offline Lindsay2427

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 642
  • Country: us
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Mood: Worried
    Worried
    • Poke This Member
Re: MS fear has brought me here... Anyone else convinced they have it?
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2014, 09:26:35 PM »
I do not have ms fears however I can totally relate to you. I am 27 years old and a mother of 4 beautiful children and married to my high school sweetheart for 7 years. I have suffered with health anxiety for years, actually since childhood. I remember being maybe 6 years old and terrified while falling asleep my heart would stop. I would get out if bed and jump up and down to make my heart race so I could feel it. I have had everything from skin cancer brain tumor, bone cancer, breast cancer, lymphoma, pancreatic, and my recent and worst ever colon cancer. It all started in February of 2013 when I happened to notice bright red blood streaks on my stool periodically. I saw my GP shortly after and she suggested colonoscopy. I lost it and my obsession with CC began. I was convinced I had it. I spent hours on google (up to 8 hours a day) reading about people my age with it. I continued to obsess over my stool and still had occasion bleeding. I had extreme anxiety attacks where I would go into the bathroom and cry. I was to afraid to see a doctor because I was terrified of diagnosis. I realized I was not being the mother and wife I should be and consulted a Gastro in January of this year. She suggested colonoscopy as well. I still put it off out of fear of findings. I finally did it on April 20 and the source of bleeding was internal hemorrhoids and one tiny polyp that was removed and biopsied. Completely 100% benign. I wasted 15 months of my life on that. Then as soon as I got the all clear from that I started obsessing over other digestive cancers. I have a C word phobia. I am working so hard in this anxiety. It is also OCD. I just wanted to share my story so you know you aren't alone.     
Bookmark and Share

Offline mrpig

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: MS fear has brought me here... Anyone else convinced they have it?
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2014, 11:03:53 AM »
Hi Lindsay,

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I'm sorry to hear you have been having such a hard time with your fears and anxiety.
I totally agree when you say that if we are reassured we don't have a certain illness we then switch to obsessing over another one :(
And for intelligent reasonable people, this health anxiety/obsession sure does make us act in irrational ways.  To be honest it is sad that we are wasting our lives like this. Since I posted yesterday I panicked so much about a sensation of warmth in my foot that comes and goes that I went to A&E at 7am this morning. Thats the 4th time in 2 weeks I've been there.I know in my rational mind that this behaviour is not normal, yet I feel like I would be tempting fate almost if I ignore physical symptoms and just put it all down tto anxiety. When I read back what I'm writing here I realise how nuts I sound. Which is adding to the anxiety is that people react as if I am losing my mind. I envy people who don't worry about things in the way we do as we are damaging our lives and not giving 100% of our time and attention to our loved ones :( x
Bookmark and Share

Online mollyfin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4719
  • Rec's: 41
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: MS fear has brought me here... Anyone else convinced they have it?
« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2014, 12:42:44 AM »
First of all you may be correct in calling it a compulsion - for some, HA is a form of OCD.  Have you consulted with a mental health professional and discussed these problems?

Enjoy your son and try to keep spending time with him your #1 - they grow too fast!  Especially the first couple of years.  And congratulations :) 
Bookmark and Share

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
4 Replies
811 Views
Last post May 07, 2010, 04:42:32 PM
by jimmy7777
1 Replies
258 Views
Last post April 29, 2013, 04:07:29 PM
by Cuchculan
3 Replies
182 Views
Last post March 11, 2014, 05:14:01 PM
by Sunlover
1 Replies
212 Views
Last post May 27, 2014, 01:59:08 PM
by Cuchculan
1 Replies
114 Views
Last post May 28, 2014, 12:45:52 PM
by Cuchculan

anything