I just have to let it all out to people who know what I'm going through.
I'm a 52 year old woman and I've had headaches almost every summer for 5 years and this summer is really bad. It's always on the right side of my head and my ear on that side feels clogged all the time. My face on the same side tingles sometimes too, and even my nose feels a bit clogged on the same side. So I google even thought I KNOW I shouldn't. Of course what I find is all about brain tumors. Yes, somewhere inside I sometimes think "Maybe I just get daily migraines in the summer from who knows what (air conditioning 24/7? Allergies?). But NO - THIS TIME it's a brain tumor. BRAIN TUMOR, BRAIN TUMOR is what I'm obsessed about.
I went to the doctor and my blood pressure was very high 170/100, maybe due to the panic I'm in. He thinks that may have something to do with the headaches. He says I don't have the signs of brain tumor (no weakness, no seizures, no real changes in my vision, walk ok, talk alright), but he said there's enough symptoms that he's sending me to get an MRI to put me and him at ease. He says "You'll be fine" - probably because I'm panicking so much.
I'm scared out of my wits. My leg and arm on the same side of my body is now feeling shaky too. My MRI is Wednesday night and I KNOW they'll find something horrible, or else why would I feel this way all on one side of my body?
It's so bad that I'm taking Xanax and started to throw out my stuff so my family doesn't have to go through my mess when I pass on.
I'm at a really, really bad place mentally right now, I think physically too.