i'm in a really bad state right now and i'm in desperate need of help. i've had this problem since i was a little kid. any time someone around me makes an off-color joke or a violent comment in a joking manner, i become morbidly terrified of them and start obsessing over whether or not they were secretly being serious. i get intrusive thoughts about them being a serial killer and i become paranoid that they're going to hurt me. before anyone dubs me as psychotic, i KNOW the thoughts are irrational because they're only triggered by certain things, but the fear is so intense that it makes me very depressed and panicky and sometimes the obsession will last for months on end. this has happened with numerous people in my life and now it's fixated onto a family member who has a dark, dry sense of humor. all the people in the past that i've been afraid of have had the same sort of humor (joking about killing someone or being a psychopath or about hurting animals).
i know this topic belongs in the ocd forum but it's a slow forum and i need help asap because i can't sleep and i feel ill worrying over this so much. i can't stand my imagination and how it automatically jumps to the worst possible conclusion. i can't take a joke, i take everything seriously as a sign of threat towards me, and even though i know it's stupid i still can't shake it off.