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Author Topic: hey everyone. new to the site  (Read 136 times)

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Offline zav4999

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hey everyone. new to the site
« on: May 22, 2014, 12:27:46 AM »
Hey everyone. My names zack , im from northern California and im 26 years old. I have seen this site before , an have typically been going on a different anxiety site for support but not much responses on there , so I came across this site and it looks way better. I've dealt with anxiety issues since my senior year in high school. It all started with having a bad panic attack from smoking marijuana(I was 18 an barely started experimenting with it). After that anxiety has been in my life since. It's been pretty constant  since 09 and I've been able to manage it but have had a couple dark periods where a anxiety attack creeps up an it throws me into depression and it takes awhile to get back to myself. I had recently back in april had a very random anxiety attack that I didn't even see coming. Had managed it for at least 3 years, but I was laid off in December and I think it just had built itself up and hit me hard. So for the past month I've had a real difficult time with my anxiety, then a couple weeks into the bad anxiety, depression crept in and that seemed to numb the anxiety an I was more focused on the depression. Depression is horrible, I felt hopeless everyday, not all day but most the days, my life felt completely different and I was afraid. I didn't have health insurance and I was so desperate to get help with this. I had experienced this same kind of depression in 09 after another anxiety attack but I managed to get out of that after finding work, so I was afraid this was happening again. So I eventually got medi cal  (Medicaid) and finally am going to see a mental health professional who specializes in anxiety/depression and i'm hoping this will help me to manage my anxiety issues better, because I've only been prescribed Ativan to help with it an even though it might help it doesn't help a lot and I've always wanted to talk with a specialist and be diagnosed and see what's going on and what I can do. I recently started eating healthier, going to the gym, started working after sooo many years of saying to myself I will get in better health and shape an maybe that'll help me not feel so much anxiety. i'm also temping at a job, which ill admit sucks but i'm kind of getting use to it now after about a month an my depression has subsided a little this week. I'm just hoping for the best because this past month has been a rollercoaster ride from hell and just want to get back to myself, possibly even better. I hope to get to know some of you on here , I know anxiety sucks but all we can do is try our best to manage it and live better happier lives.
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Offline crikee57

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Re: hey everyone. new to the site
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2014, 03:34:50 AM »
Hi Zack,

Sorry you are going through such a rough time with your anxiety and depression.  I have some bouts of depression as well at times and I have also found that when they hit my anxiety took a backseat in a way.  I like your attitude and with hard work and therapy I think you will find major improvements.  I am also from Northern CA and know how the job market can be.  Glad you have found the temp job. 

Let me also say, welcome to the forum.  It is great to have you as a member.  This is a wonderful place to get advice and support from people going through similar situations.  The members here are very helpful. It is nice to know we are not alone.

Feel free to explore the forum.  There are lots of useful topics to read.  Feel free to post and ask questions.  If you have specific concerns or questions start a topic in the appropriate section to get the best feedback. There is also a chat room for members 18 years and older that you can access once you have made three meaningful posts in the forum. 

Again welcome to our community.
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It's not what's in front of us that stops us.  It's what's inside that holds us back.

Offline zav4999

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Re: hey everyone. new to the site
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2014, 06:08:30 PM »
thanks for the reply. I can already tell there's real nice people in this community just from your response appreciate it. Yea the past week has seemed to be going good, feel a little back to normal so happy about that. Yea it's rough finding a permanent job out here in nor cal that's for sure but this temp job is paying good. Thanks for the reply nice to meet you.
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Offline ScarletDawn42

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Re: hey everyone. new to the site
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2014, 03:57:38 AM »
Hi Zack,
I'm also new to the site. It's nice to know we're really not alone out here. I've battled with depression and anxiety for a number of years so I know what you're going through. And I can tell you that the professional help you're seeking can help put things in perspective. I'm glad you've found help and I hope you can find relief.
-Taylor
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Offline zav4999

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Re: hey everyone. new to the site
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2014, 07:00:51 PM »
Thanks Taylor. I'm hoping it can put it into perspective and I can get a better idea of what ive dealt with after all these years on my own
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Offline tigger

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Re: hey everyone. new to the site
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2014, 11:06:53 AM »
Hi Zack,
I'm new to the site as well. I can relate to your feelings and feel sorry for what you have been going through. I really hope that you can find peace soon. I was also considering seeing a therapist who I could talk to. I have seen before but can't say that really helped and I stopped, but considering again. Have generally been against medication and still am but that's just me and not sure if thats the best way to go. We must not give up and I wish the best for you.
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Offline zav4999

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Re: hey everyone. new to the site
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2014, 09:14:50 PM »
hey tigger thanks for that. yea I wish I had tried therapy first then took medications if necessary but I was 19 an I didn't know what else to do so I took them and I really don't know what else to do for now its the only thing that controls it it seems but that'll be something I hope to talk about at my appointment. Hows everyones weekend going. hope not too much anxiety lol
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Offline tigger

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Re: hey everyone. new to the site
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2014, 08:49:12 PM »
Hey sorry Zack didnt see ur reply until now.
Weekends have been going pretty ***** not gona lie. Wayy too much anxiety lol, and getting drunk doesnt help either.
Yea I hope ur therapy goes well and u feel better.
I have just had it with this anxiety and I had decided some time ago that no matter what happens - I will not give up and no matter how shitty my days/weeks/years go and no matter how many times I fall - I will get back up and start fighting again. That is what I have been doing and throwing myself into my most terrified situations including public speaking. It is ***** when u embarrass the hell out of urself and nobody wants to look at you because you are just one anxious fool who is misunderstood - but- do i really want to keep living like this or fix it?

I have been trying to fix it without a whole lot of success but it has gotten better. If nothing works out by the end of this year - I might change the whole course of my life just to fix this - because I am sick and tired of it and will not let it dictate me.

However, times are hard - and everything seems unclear - and at those times I just do the best I can - even if it means waiting.

I remember when I took some meds I started alternating them and then taking them less frequently - eventually I said f*** it. They did subside the anxiety a little though.
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