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Author Topic: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded  (Read 238 times)

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Offline reece

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fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« on: May 20, 2014, 07:08:36 AM »
so, i usually post in the HA forum, but thought i'd post here on this topic.   I have a huge fear of bedbugs. so much, that i have started to avoid traveling. i want to travel, but the anxiety of it, just outweighs any joy.  when i do travel, i end up worrying about the bedbugs and how i am going to have to inspect all of my things and clean my luggage and then worry for weeks after getting back about having maybe brought them home with me.

the worst part of it is that i am worried that if we get bedbugs in our house, not only will it be a nightmare to get rid of them;, the painstaking process of me "checking" every nook and cranny and feeling anxious in my own home forever, but also that no one will want to come over again. mostly the anxiety stems around no one wanting to let their child come over and be with my child. he is an ONLY child, and he's socially awkward already. At 13, he is in that stage of middle school boy stuff and so it's already fragile. he really only has 3 friends that he hangs out with regularly already.

so, to sum it up, here is how the scenario plays out in my head:
we go on vacation, we check the room, everything seems good, although i worry the whole time. what if one bug was in that room and it hitches a ride with us. we get back, i have to inspect all of our stuff that we took with us, i spend hours doing that, cleaning it, washing, etc. then for weeks i am on edge because maybe i missed seeing the bug on something we brought home. then maybe we get bedbugs, and my son gets bites all over him, people know that we got bed bugs, his friends make fun of him, then the parents find out and won't let their kids ever come over again, and his friends don't invite him anywhere anymore.  and to top that off, i have to feel ANXIOUS constantly because my house is infested with bugs.(not to mention the time and money, and tossing of our things, it would take to get rid of the bugs, if we ever even could get rid of them!)

someone, please help.. i just want to go to seattle this summer(where it seems even the finest hotels have a history of bedbugs)
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2014, 05:12:52 PM »
Reece, your post caught my eye because I dealt with bed bugs this past winter.  That's about the time I seemed to deal
with generalized anxiety disorder too though not sure they were connected.  All I can tell you is that I had to call the Orkin man.  And yes, it was a pain.  But I survived and am bed bug free.

I don't travel much myself, but if traveling makes you happy -- I'd just be cautious about checking and cleaning stuff before
returning home.
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Offline reece

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2014, 09:21:55 AM »
thank you for your reply. i'm so sorry you had to deal with those things...sounds like it didn't pain you too much. do you have kids? was your whole house infested? just curious.   

also, any advice on how to get past the fear?
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Offline ehboys

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2014, 05:23:22 PM »
Hi,

This is one of my chronic fears. I lived through bed bugs and it really wasn't that bad. When I got them I was concerned that my life would be over and my partner would break up with me. (that didn't happen).

I am afraid to sit in movie theaters, airplanes, etc.

Really, they aren't that big of a deal and you should just consider looking online at Bed Bug Registries and YELP to see if there are reports. Really, this is something you don't have much control over, so don't let it get to you too much.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2014, 11:43:35 PM »
Reece, I don't have kids or a partner and I live in an apartment.

As for how to get past the fear of bedbugs?  Not sure.  You could google it.  Also I wonder if it helps to look at pictures
of the bugs.  To me my attitude toward bedbugs is like my attitude toward anxiety.  I don't fear it or hate it.
I befriend the bedbugs, the anxiety.  I bless them.  Then I ask them politely to leave!   :yes:
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Offline reece

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2014, 06:58:44 AM »
it's a fear that i guess the main part of it for me is the STIGMA attached to it.  when my kid got lice in 4th grade, i was a basket case. i was thinking that no one would ever want to be near him again. turns out, i was wrong. it happens, and everyone was like, oh, no big deal(once we were lice free that is).
i wish that the bedbug thing would be like that. but i know it won't. it will be a nightmare and no one will want to come over here again. and probably not want us to come to their place either. 
i'd say we just wouldn't tell anyone if we got them, but i highly doubt my son would be able to keep that secret. also, the bites all over us would be a dead giveaway i'm sure.

i just wish i could poll all of his friend's parents and say look, if we get bedbugs will you promise to still let your child come over once i get rid of them?   but, my hubby says that seems a little weird. :)
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2014, 03:31:56 PM »
I live in Chicago and for a while we were the #1 city for bed bugs.  I did tell some of my friends about the bedbugs.
It wasn't a big deal.  I just didn't have people over for a few months.  After that, people were happy to come over
to my place again.  I think the stigma is less, since bed bugs are so common.

And bed bugs affect the rich and poor.  It is no reflection on cleanliness.  One can get bed bugs while traveling at a hotel,
or even at a movie theater or public transportation.  I think the stigma is decreasing.
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Offline reece

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2014, 02:23:20 PM »
i'm still trying to sort this all out. i'm at an 11 on the anxiety meter right now about bed bugs. my son goes to sleep away camp this weekend, for a week and of course, i'm scared he will get them there.

so,tell me. what did you do when you got them? were they all over the house? in all your stuff? did the orkin man just have to come once? i heard someone say it took them a year to get rid of them.!!  also, i'm scared i'll have to toss out all my things, like all my shoes!! (i love shoes), they are in my bedroom so to me they would be infested too. even if they weren't my anxiety would make me think they were and i am not sure i'd ever get over it!

where would we sleep? would we just sleep in another room? what if that took them to that room!..oh lordy...i could go on and on.

sometimes though, it helps me to have a plan, just in case. right now all i see is catastrophy
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Offline reece

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2014, 09:37:02 AM »
my anxiety is really high about this right now since my son is leaving for sleepaway camp today!! we will check his bunk, but who knows .
i know that you can normally see the bugs, but honestly, it will be a frenzy of people, kids etc doing drop off and i don't think i'll get to look as intensely as i should. i could miss one. plus, i'll only be checking his bed, there will be 7 others in the cabin. i can't possibly check them all.

ugh
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Offline Hopeful77

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Re: fear of bedbugs and child being excluded
« Reply #9 on: June 08, 2014, 08:49:59 PM »
Hi Reece.  I really relate to this fear of yours and I know how stressed out it can make you. Several years ago I got a new mattress and soon after noticed that I was getting lots of bites.  I got it in my head that it was bedbugs.  I figured they were in the delivery truck that delivered my new mattress (having come off old mattresses that the truck hauled away).  I spent so much time pulling the sheets off the bed looking for bugs.  I even got up in the night a few times and stripped the bed looking for them then since I had read that they come out to feed at night.  I was really driving myself nuts, but couldn't get the thought of bedbugs out of my head.  I don't remember how long this went on, but I eventually figured out that I had chiggers instead.  Having been worried for so long about it though, I really got paranoid about staying in hotels.  I would really stress about it and then stress again when I got home fearing that we may have brought them home.  For whatever reason, this particular fear has diminished the last year or so.  Hopefully yours will too.  Now when I travel I figure as long as I don't notice any bites, then there probably aren't any bedbugs to bring home, so there is no need to worry.   I also tell myself that I know people who travel all the time and I don't know anyone with bedbugs.  Also even if you did get them, I can't imagine your son getting ostracized from his friends.  Maybe the parents wouldn't want their kids to spend the night until they were gone, but I don't think they would keep the kids from getting together.  I wish you peace of mind.
 
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Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.  1 Peter 5:7

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