Hi. I really need reassurance, everyone goes on about how thoughts come and go but I have HONESTLY had the constant same one for 3yrs now and scared I will do something stupid because I don't know what's real. When my lo was 9 months old it popped in my head that my bestfriend had smoked a joint when breastfeeding, the thought instantly turned Into the thought she didnt and cos I did a few things whilst breastfeeding ie take anti depressents with my youngest and took 2 codiene when breastfeeding my eldest both my children will die. I keep ruminating every night for the last 3 yrs and I'm now convinced I'm mad, paid to go out last night and the week before but felt too anxious to go. I lost my mum to ***** and don't want to go down this road. But so scared and know if I can just remember if she smoked it everything will be fab. Please help and sorry for long post.