Hi there, I'm Nicole... I'm 23 and from the states. Recently going through some pretty tough anxiety problems specifically phobia/ocd. I've struggled with anxiety all my life though. It probably started when I was just a kid because my dad was always so strict and sometimes very cruel throughout growing up. I developed some typical self esteem/daddy type issues and am now pretty much afraid of my own shadow. While I was a teen I was already a mess. Mostly with depression. My parents didn't know how to handle me so they pretty much used neglect as their strategy. I wound up in the wrong crowd and dating a really bad guy. I was 17 when I met him and he was 23. He treated me like dirt for 3 years but I stuck with him because I had no one and my parents pretty much disowned me. My anxiety got really really bad at this point in my life and ever since I feel like I've been in a downhill battle with an array of mental illnesses. Things have gotten better now that I ditched my ex and have begun to repair the relationship with my parents but I'm still pretty mentally scarred. I really don't know what my actual diagnoses are because I don't have the money to afford a psychiatrist/therapist. Last time I was in therapy at 16 it was Depression/Anxiety but I think things have become more complicated since then.
Anyways, when I'm having a good day I absolutely love being outdoors. I love taking care of my two pets, reading, traveling, and drawing. I'm quite shy (obviously) but I do love being around people once I'm like 100000% comfortable with them lol. So yeah, there's a bit about me. I've been lurking this forum for quite some time now and though I may as well join. It would be nice to have something of a support system since in my real life that is virtually non existent. And of course I'd like to be able to finally post responses because I have read so many posts by people I would have loved to reach out to and try to help as best as I can. :)