So this has been going on for a while now, but I haven't really done anything to get help. Only recently have I admitted that I need to get help with my depression, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 29th. Anyway, it's gotten worse the past few weeks. I never have any energy. I stay up all night, just laying in bed, thinking about all the awesome things I want to do with my life, or coming up with fake scenarios in my head that I wish would happen. Absolutely restless. I fall asleep in the morning, when everyone else is usually waking up, and I sleep until around 12, but lay in bed until I have to get up, usually around 3 or 4. I only shower when I have somewhere to be, or when I know someone will be coming over to hangout with my brother or my mom. The same goes for brushing my hair and teeth. When I am awake, I'm exhausted, and rarely have energy.
I'm also a hockey goalie. Usually hockey is my escape from life, focusing on a little black puck getting shot at me and trying to stop it takes immense focus, so naturally, that is the only thing I think about when I'm on the ice. As of recent, I haven't been able to do so. I have no energy on the ice, I dont really care if I stop the puck or not, and when I don't, I feel like my teammates are trash talking me, even though they aren't usually the kind to do so. But I always have that feeling. It's like I don't even want to play hockey anymore, but I know I'd be lost without it.
How do I get my passions back? How can I wake up in the morning, get out of bed, take a shower, and move on with my life? I feel like once I can do these things, that's a huge step forward for me in dealing with my depression and moving forward.