Some part of you must think it is anxiety to be here in the first place. I think in the back of your mind you may think it could be something worse as well. Hence some of your fears. It all sounds like anxiety to me. That spaced out feeling, not feeling like you are with it, we call derealization. It is a very common symptom. No magic cure for it. At best you can try and distract yourself. Take your mind off of yourself. It tends to just vanish. I know mine did. Haven't had it in years. You may also be depressed. When people are depressed they don't eat much at all. Never in the mood to do much. Can get angry easy. As they want to be left alone. I have no idea if you ever saw a therapist? Might be a good idea. Try a bit of CBT. Learn the basics and start putting things right again.