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Author Topic: Death of a family member as a trigger  (Read 217 times)

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Offline an0nym0us

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Death of a family member as a trigger
« on: May 13, 2014, 12:37:41 AM »
Hello, I'm new to the forum. I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience.

I've always had some pretty serious problems with anxiety. Two minutes with me in a room and even the most insensitive and oblivious of humans would probably have been able to correctly diagnose me with social anxiety.

Hypochondria is a new one for me though. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to cope, none of my old mechanisms (avoiding interaction) seem to be effective. It started somewhat recently. Last year a member of my family died of cancer. A short time after that I became positive I had leukemia. Then skin cancer. Then leukemia again. Now, I've always considered myself a rational human being and it wasn't difficult to trace these fears back to the source, but for some reason the obvious origin of these fears seemed to pale in comparison to the "evidence". Even though I had absolutely no evidence. None. I was short of breath and consistently lightheaded but as I said anxiety is something I've always dealt with. Shortness of breath and lightheadedness are familiar territory. There was no reason for me to believe I was dying but I was already becoming deeply depressed thinking of the end which would surely come in no more than a year, two tops.

I went to the doctor, I was confident that I would be able to put the fears to rest once a licensed professional told me there was nothing wrong with my body. I was also sure that if similar fears were to come up again later I would be able to remind myself of the time I was proven wrong by an actual doctor. I felt better after that appointment but it lasted for a very short period of time. It's one thing after another now. And enough time has passed that I have been able to convince myself that it's possible that I developed cancer after my initial doctor visit. I'm at my wit's end. One part of me is constantly reminding myself that I was wrong about the leukemia and/or skin cancer even after feeling so certain. This part of me seems so easily overridden by the louder part though. Even though the louder part is less pleasant to listen to and quite frankly makes very few sound arguments.

I'm seeing a therapist but I thought insight from some who have actually dealt with something similar would be helpful.
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Offline marc

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Re: Death of a family member as a trigger
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2014, 08:00:24 AM »
It is really difficult when a family member passes away. My mother, father and uncle all died within a
years time and it was no picnic for me either.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline tinam7

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Re: Death of a family member as a trigger
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2014, 08:29:01 AM »
My brother died 2 years ago after 4 years of horrific suffering. There is hardly a day that goes by without thinking of him. What can develop, it seems to me, is almost a death wish such as I want to be with him, or save him, or ease his pain, etc. Maybe guilt at being alive.

Then there is another aspect which makes me angry and determined that I will not go that way. So I actually believe (perhaps naively) that we can do much to prevent cancer. These cells are always present (so I've read) in our body, but our own immune system won't let them take over. So I am a fierce partner to my immune system. Eat well, exercise, maintain good weight and take Vit. C. Just some thoughts.
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Offline Ihadcancer

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Re: Death of a family member as a trigger
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2014, 08:56:12 AM »
I understand!  My younger sister in law, who has had MANY breast cysts/ lumps, was dx'd with invasive breast cancer on Friday so now I'm terrified I have breast cancer.  At my age, the govt. group says a mammogram every 3 years is okay. It's been 4 years and 4 months.  No symptoms, but I'll be a wreck until the end of July now.
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