Chat Now!   Member Gallery    Anxiety Zone Wire    Games   Social Groups   AZ Member Blogs   Health News  Bored?

Author Topic: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice  (Read 195 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline bpadilla49

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 461
  • Rec's: 2
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« on: May 11, 2014, 05:47:05 PM »
My HA is out of control. I've had more tests done in the last 8 months then I've ever had done in my entire life. When one fear is demolished through testing, I move onto the next. My current scare is a brain tumor. I've talked with 3 neurologists and 1 cancer doctor online and none of them believe my symptoms are that of a brain tumor, and only one recommended I have some type of testing done - but all of them FIRMLY believe that my symptoms are those of anxiety, and not a brain tumor. So why can't I get it out of my head? (no pun intended). I will tell you what I know - I know that if I were to get an MRI of my brain, it would eliminate my brain tumor fear, but then I'd move onto the next fear.

The advice I need is this: My husband and I are ready for another baby - #3. However, I'm scared! I'm terrified that I'm going to be diagnosed with cancer during my pregnancy and not be around to raise my other two children or the third one. I know that most cancers you have to wait until the baby is delivered before seeking treatment, therefore allowing the cancer to spread and yada yada yada.

I knew a woman who was pregnant with her first child when I was pregnant with #2. She was 3 years older then me and diagnosed with cancer during pregnancy. She lived for 8 months after her son was born. How sad!

I know nobody here can tell me whether or not we should have another baby - I realize that's a decision everyone has to make for themselves. But can anyone shed some light on the situation?

My other concern is that postpartum I'll be a psychotic mess because of this HA! Gah! I so badly wish there was some cure for this.

I also want to add that my doctor doesn't want me to start any medication until my second trimester at the earliest - if that. And our insurance doesn't cover therapy/counseling :-( Otherwise, I definitely would have exhausted those routes by now! 
Bookmark and Share

Online PantsyAntsy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 54
  • Rec's: 1
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2014, 10:48:32 PM »
Among my many other issues, I am also a cancer-phobe. I never worried about illnesses or disease until the end of 2012 when I discovered a breast lump that the surgeon recommended removing. I was such a wreck, I could barely function, all I could do was lay around, cry, and imagine the worst until I got benign results/ Since then, I have bounced from scare to scare, some reasonable and in reaction to real symptoms, and others not so reasonable. I am also a new mom, just had my third baby, on Xmas day 2013.

Mine was not a planned pregnancy. The cancer fears did linger somewhat, but the pregnancy made me deemphasize my own issues. I also came to some zen about them, like if I did get cancer (oh, did I mention my armpit developed a giant lump at the beginning of the pregnancy and it still there today?), I felt like I would lick it and just do what I had to do to survive including chemo while pregnant (you can do that with some sorts of cancer), delivering early whatever.

What DID happen during my pregnancy is my phobia transferred to my pregnancy. I was terrified of Down Syndrome, I was fairly consumed with that possibility since we found a soft marker (but other testing indicated no Down Syndrome). I would say I did better with it that I did with my initial experience with health anxiety, like I was able to function and mostly dwell on my own time. I was also worried about rare things happening to her in the womb like getting fifths disease and, after birth, I freaked a little about whooping cough when my son got a cough. I am also fixating on some things on her skin (she has a mark on the back of her head that really bothers me). Melanoma is one of my triggers, and I have been transferring that fear to all three of my kids now. They are all going to the dermatologist next week, lol. I am also scared of things in the environment now that could possibly transmit to me or the kids. We just found a mouse problem, and hantavirus is the obsession du jour. I actually came on here to update my hantavirus post since we just finished cleaning the basement of mouse poo and hubby and I got into a huge flap over following CDC guidelines (I wanted to follow the guidelines, to be clear, haha, he thinks it's all ridiculous). I am disgressing here, but anyway. I don't know how you'll react but I think I kept it together in a satisfactory way during pregnancy and in my post partum period (my daughter is now 4 months)- not perfect but not debilitated by fear. The other thing that's really tough is the SIDS issue, and I had a momentary row with that but I wouldn't say I dwell (just check on her A LOT, although that's easing up).

You're right, no one can tell you what to do. But, I surprised myself with functioning semi-close to a normal human being that doesn't wake uo thinking about dying, haha. You might too. :-)
Bookmark and Share

Offline mollyfin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3739
  • Rec's: 35
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2014, 04:56:27 AM »
I would recommend getting help for your anxiety first, then think about getting pregnant again.  But that's just me. 
Bookmark and Share

Offline bpadilla49

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 461
  • Rec's: 2
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2014, 04:10:00 PM »
I suppose that is the right answer. To get the anxiety under control first. I know there are some women on this board who became pregnant while having HA and they are dealing. I just don't want my life to be defined by this anxiety anymore.  :angry:
Bookmark and Share

Offline soaringfalcon

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 356
  • Rec's: 7
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2014, 05:33:28 PM »
I agree with mollyfin that you should treat the anxiety first.  There ARE SSRIs that are safe to take during pregnancy, Celexa being one of them.  I was never able to carry another baby to term but I was cleared to take Celexa.  My OB insisted that my mental health was far more important to maintaining a healthy pregnancy.  All of the adrenaline that come with fight or flight and constant stress is not good on a developing baby. 

I didn't seek treatment until after my daughter was born and I was a wreck my entire pregnancy with her.  It wasn't enjoyable because I lived in absolute constant fear of something happening to her. 

I know how horrible it is to have HA rule your life.  It's truly awful.  I wish you the best of luck.
Bookmark and Share

Offline moonhippie

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 3
  • Rec's: 0
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2014, 12:11:19 AM »
I understand where you are coming from. We want to start trying for baby 2 but my HA has me completely convinced that I either have breast cancer or a heart condition all the time. I stopped my meds about a month ago and now wish instead that I had talked to my dr about just upping the dose i was on. I made it through my pregnancy without being on anything but I was constantly worried about the same things, but more so I was worried about dying before having her, or if something happened and they could only save one of us, would it be me or her? Horrible things a mother shouldn't have to question and I did...repeatedly. Next time around I am ensuring I am on a drug that has enough research backing it that I can be taking it while pregnant. Im not thinking i would make it through another pregnancy without medication.
Bookmark and Share

Offline mollyfin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3739
  • Rec's: 35
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2014, 08:51:17 PM »
I hope you can kick HA's ass soundly and soon be ready for baby #3!  It can be done and I believe you can do it!
Bookmark and Share

Offline bpadilla49

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 461
  • Rec's: 2
  • Gender: Female
  • Personal text
    • Poke This Member
Re: In light of Mother's Day, I need some advice
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2014, 10:01:12 PM »
How do you kick HA butt? What works best?
Bookmark and Share

Tags:
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
3 Replies
734 Views
Last post July 09, 2010, 11:03:45 AM
by loveya14
9 Replies
977 Views
Last post August 31, 2010, 01:42:22 PM
by Forrest70
4 Replies
789 Views
Last post September 12, 2011, 11:05:53 PM
by Gigi123
4 Replies
1174 Views
Last post September 15, 2012, 09:15:31 PM
by skimordiegirl
10 Replies
8038 Views
Last post April 12, 2014, 08:44:32 AM
by ShawnW
1 Replies
333 Views
Last post February 24, 2013, 09:25:51 PM
by alicat22

anything