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Author Topic: Constant worry about the Meaning Of Life, leading to Anxiety  (Read 151 times)

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Offline 59Ballons

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After I had a Depersonalization attack, I began to think about philosophical things like "What is the meaning of life", "Why are we here?" etc... But then they turned more bizarre. I thought that Reality was fake and everything was created in my mind. I began to obsess over these things daily.  :sick0002: I waned off of those thoughts that Life was fake and everything, and now Im at a standstill. I feel a feeling of Dread, and I feel trapped whenever i think about life in general. I somehow feel like  life is completely pointless because no matter what we do during our life, no matter what we obtain and no matter how many friends we have, it all doesn't matter in the end because we DIE. And then I tell myself "It does matter because while I am alive, I can cherish these things." and to "live in the moment". However, living in the moment is young for me because I am frequently feeling dread and feeling trapped. If I continue to think about these thoughts, I will sometimes have a Panic Attack and a Depersonalization episode. It's awful. But I tend not to drag myself deep into the thoughts anymore because I know what happens. (A step in the right direction I suppose)

I am 15 years old, and these thoughts aren't obstructing my schoolwork at all. I have mostly Bs and an A (which is in History and I've always hated history... but for some reason Im doing fantastic in his class.... but anyway) and I guess I have a lot of friends, Im friendly with mostly everyone and don't really dislike anybody. Good grades don't really matter to me... I want to get good grades but I don't feel joy or see any value in them because we all die... (I sound like a complete idiot but thats honestly what I'll think) Again, these thoughts aren't obstructing my schoolwork or social life.

These thoughts that are like a heavy weight on me go away when Im distracted. During the school day, I'll be having fun with my friends and working in class, and its almost like my brain will revert to auto-pilot. Then, an hour or so later, I'll suddenly remember my anxiety and I'll feel dread and I'll feel trapped again. I feel sad that the only time I can feel normal is when my brain is on auto-pilot. When Im dreaming I feel normal too... sometimes when I look back on my dreams I'll feel anxiety but its because Im feeling anxious now, not because I felt that in my dream.

I know that these thoughts do me no good, and I know that I can stop thinking about them if I want to, but its like I can't. Feeling distracted is fantastic... but I don't want to go through my life on "auto-pilot" .

Also::: I'll tend to ignore these feelings later at night because Im going to sleep soon. I will feel normal at night more often than not. The worst feelings of this is in the morning.

Are there any tips to cleanse my mind and relax? Any input would be great   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Distraction is life's best remedy.

Offline mikeyw92

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Re: Constant worry about the Meaning Of Life, leading to Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2014, 01:38:27 PM »
Weird I feel the exact same all the time! I always think about how the earth just a big ball of rock floating in the middle of nothing and we just live here and That usually gets me haha
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Constant worry about the Meaning Of Life, leading to Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2014, 01:51:09 PM »
For a person your age, such thinking is bound to happen at some stage. It may be years ago, but I do remember thinking about the same things as a young teen. I was growing. I wanted to know what life was all about. I remember as a younger kid I used to think that older people died first. Younger people died last.  :laugh3: Those were the days. But then I got more into reading. I branched out with my reading. In my own opinion you will come to some conclusion about life at some stage. But you will come to that conclusion on your own and then look for something that fits in with what you believe. I began reading Buddhists books and Native American Indian books. Why? Because they matched with what I believed about life. It wasn't that I read the books first and then latched onto this idea. I had the idea in my head already. Once I could match it up with something my thinking stopped. Because now I had something that I believed in, that was also written in these books. I used to journal a lot. My own thoughts on life. Once you find your feet, as such, you will stop with the thinking. Bit like you are exploring all these ideas. One day one of them will make sense to you. Then you might find some writing in a book or on the net talking similar to how you think. Simple fact is we all need that something to believe in. Some have their God. Others have other things. You are young. You are exploring all these ideas about life. Which is something a lot of young people do. Just give yourself some time off every now and again. Maybe some less heavy reading. Not as deep. Something more fun. It may sink into your mind and help you out a good bit.
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Constant worry about the Meaning Of Life, leading to Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2014, 01:55:50 PM »
Hi, well you might not like my advice, but here's my thoughts about the meaning of life......by the way, I'm 43 years old and have done plenty of thinking on the subject so just take this advice as from someone with some life experience.....No one really knows what the meaning of life is, but it is possible to find meaning to our lives.  It seems like it is all for nothing (everything we do in life) but the things we do can make an impact.  To me the meaning of life is learning how to overcome obstacles that keep us from feeling or being whole. And, caring for others---being loving, giving, kind, unselfish, and humble, can make life meaningful.  Also, it helps to have Faith, because with faith one can see that it all doesn't end when we die. I know there are many people who do not believe in God or eternal life because it is hard to believe in something that can't be seen.  But I have proof of something greater when I think of the whole universe an it's creation---it could not have evolved from nothing.  I think of the planets, the sun, moon, everything in nature, the beauty of it all.  But that's just my opinion.

I don't know the answer to stop thinking about what the meaning of life is, I'm sure everyone has thought it before, the secret is to change your thoughts on it.  Find meaning in your life, whatever that may be, as long as it is for the greater good.  And don't feel as though it is all for nothing because our lives matter, for whatever reason there can be purpose to life.

Take care :)
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