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Author Topic: So scared of Parkinsonīs, please help  (Read 615 times)

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Offline Rasalhauge

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So scared of Parkinsonīs, please help
« on: May 07, 2014, 09:14:50 PM »
So, Iīve had a couple of days of from my constant fear of Young onset Parkinsonīs but now itīs back worse than ever.

I have "thing" for testing myself constantly via various neuro tests, such as finger tapping (finger to thumb), piano play (w. all fingers), rapid alternating hand movements and so on. Today was the first time I did it for close to three days (which is a personal record) and I failed almost every test with my left hand. It felt slow and uncoordinated, and I had absolutelly no hand dexterity. I just couldnīt do the tests I usually do.

Scared to death I had to Google the symptoms I have, and all that comes up is early signs of (Young onset) Parkinsonīs disease!

On top of all it seems as most, if not all, symptoms of Parkinsonīs is intermittent at first, just as my symptoms are.

I really donīt know what to do, Iīm literally crying my eyes out (and I NEVER cry)!

My symptoms are to many to be just anxiety, and a brief look at them is more than convincing me that I have YOPD without a doubt. My symptoms now is:

* tremor in both hands, but more in left hand (I donīt have a resting tremor yet though).
* slowness, clumsiness, uncoordination and severe lack of manual dexterity (mainly my left hand)
* major depression (described as very common w. YOPD)
* slurred speech and trouble finding the words I look for
* slowness of thinking/feeling dumb
* feels like left foot "drags"/doesnīt respond as quickly as my right foot
* stiffness in almost all muscles
* internal tremor/constant surges of adrenaline
* unsteadiness, feels like Iīm going to tip over
* a general feeling that something is off (very hard to explain)

My latest neuro exam rendered me a renewed diagnosis of somatorform/conversion disorder, but I know for a fact that it canīt just be in my head. I simply canīt be making myself this sick!

Please help, what should I do? I really cannot and will not go on like this...
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“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

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Offline thenomnomnomicon

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Re: So scared of Parkinsonīs, please help
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2014, 10:59:06 PM »
You're literally me right now. Stop googling. Stop.



. . . stop.

I'm not in the best condition to field this one right now, but it is anxiety. I know it can't be in your head, but it is.
I was also told I have a somatoform disorder. I would not suggest looking at my other posts, but perhaps you should. You might find solace there. Just do not google anything. Do not.
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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh

Offline mollyfin

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Re: So scared of Parkinsonīs, please help
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2014, 03:46:54 AM »
Stop reading symptoms.  Stop looking for symptoms.  Back away from your internet.

I've done the same thing.  Right down to "failing" with the left sided tests.  (Only I was looking for brain tumor symptoms.)

STOP IT.  You're reading the symptoms and developing them.  This is caused by your mind. 

I know nothing I say can be convincing, but hopefully once you calm down you'll recognize this for yourself.
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Offline Descent

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Re: So scared of Parkinsonīs, please help
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2014, 03:58:00 AM »
My symptoms are to many to be just anxiety

Definitely not true my friend. Don't listen to google, you can take any number of anxiety symptoms and of course it'll spit back all of the horrible possibilities... just don't do it. It doesn't help to self diagnose. This is an important lesson for any hypo/health anxiety person.

Stay off google and see a CBT if you can. Like a lot of worst case diseases, PD is exceptionally RARE, especially in younger people.
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