Is this a rite of passage here? Melanoma is one thing I never worried about, until I realized that a mole I've always had that's always looked strange has started looking stranger.
It's very dark compared to my other moles. The edges are irregular, and there's a ring of light brown around the bottom edge that perfectly matches the weird shape of the mole. It looks like a shadow.
I've had this mole forever, and it's always been dark. I've never looked too closely at it - it's always been there, and the size hasn't changed, but the shape and border have changed somewhat, and there's a new small dot next to it. I'm terrified that it's become cancerous, the cancer has spread (because I have a giant lymph node under the arm the mole is on that my doctor is unconcerned about) and I'm going to die shortly.
I'm trying to do the sensible thing. I'm going to call the dermatologist who removed my last scary-looking mole (smudgy blurred borders and irregular colors; totally benign) tomorrow and ask if I can get an appointment soon (okay, I plan on begging for an appointment soon - hopefully they can squeeze in someone who's worried about a dark, changing mole!) She's one of the best dermatologists in my city and she was part of the treatment team for a coworker of my mother's, who did in fact have melanoma that had spread (last I heard she was doing well, though mom retired some years ago). I'm trying to remind myself that I've had moles with messed-up borders before that weren't cancerous. I'm trying to tell myself that if it were melanoma it probably would've changed more drastically. And I'm trying to tell myself that panicking about it isn't helping anything anyway.
Yeah, it's not helping. All I see is a changed, irregular mole, with a new tiny dot by it, by a huge lymph node.