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Author Topic: School/ Meaningful relationships  (Read 128 times)

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Offline creamcheese

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School/ Meaningful relationships
« on: May 04, 2014, 11:48:31 AM »
I have recently been feeling recently frustrated and have had a hard time articulating my feelings. I remember meeting with a school therapist a year ago and she told me that I seem angry even though there is nothing in my personality or delivery to suggest "anger" but now I realize that she was right. University has been a roller coaster for me. I came to college expecting to make meaningful friendships, find people who have the same interests as me or people who I can have good/meaningful/intellectual conversations with. I am in no way a genius or a high achieving student and I don't think those are necesarily pre-reqs to having intellectual/meaningful conversations. But in coming to school, I feel that I was naive to think I should take school as anything else besides a place to get my degree and graduate. First, I am in a health-major that is considered to be one of the top programs at my school. My hope was to be a part of interesting discussions or solutions in my field, but instead I feel like I was around people who just enjoyed showing off than actually wanting to make a real difference. We were taught about professionalism ad nauseum instead of focusing on health-related topics of interest. I feel like so much of what I was taught was to be fake or be a suck up instead of being enthusiastic. I am a minority too (one of about 10 in a 100 person class) and am shocked at the number of ignorant comments that would pass when discussing health disparities and the such. The only way you could socialize with anybody if you drank and I don't drink nor like going to the bar even when not drinking. Am I naive to think there would be people who would want to do something else-drink tea or go to a museum? Am I naive to think that I hoped I could at least find a friend to go to a hip-hop concert with? Not a single person in my 100 person class likes hip-hop. I went to most concerts alone. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for receiving an education, grateful for the opportunities I had at school, but I am dissapointed that I have not made any friendships in school that I can say were meaningful to me. I didn't have friends in high school and college was somewhere I was excited to meet new people.  People make the post-grad world sound like an awful place and that's not encouraging seeing that university was not what I expected it to be. I am really hoping for meaningful friendships/relationships as a graduate, whether in the working world or if I go back to school. I am wondering if anybody else has a similar story to share or some experiences, maybe some encouragement.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: School/ Meaningful relationships
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2014, 01:12:44 PM »
Most schools and colleges have groups. Groups of interest. Photography and the likes. One example. I think it is here people make the best friends of all. Because it is like a gathering of like minded people. I am not sure if every college has the same set up. Some even encourage the students to set up groups of their own. You like hip hop music. There might have been more people in the college into hip hop music. Just none you knew of. If you had a group based around the music the people who were into the music would come to you. Just like those into taken pictures would flock to the photography group. It is hard to expect others to share the exact same interests as us. So at times we have to go make it happen ourselves. Join a book group. Join a hill walking group. Meet others who like doing the same things we like doing. We may not share any classes with them. But the more we get to know them the more time we can spend around them. Have lunch together and the likes. As for people showing off. That is called life. People might do it when you least expect them to do it. You want the serious people kind of stuff. That goes with what you are learning. Here are others clowning around. Kind of making what you are working hard at seem like one big joke. Sadly the drink culture is always there. But just be yourself. You don't have to follow these people. You seem like an intelligent person. Let them waste their time. Have a good look around the college. Look for those other connections. People who like you. Lost in a big college that doesn't seem to be what they imagined it would be like. I am sure there will be loads of others like you out there. Like you have loads of anxiety people here on this forum. We all found each other by a search on a search engine. But now we can connect with each other. Just have to look until you find. Trust me you will find come the end of the day.
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