Hi all, first post here. 36 year old male.
I've been reading a lot of threads in this forum, trying to convince myself that I'm going to be okay. I worry about things, but generally not my health, until recently. Sorry this is going to be long, but I just want this out there in the hopes of finding comfort in the fact that I *am* overreacting.
On April 17th I *think* I ate some bad food (a fruit cup) that gave me possible food poisoning on Friday. During that process I passed a small amount of what appeared to be blood and the toilet paper was pink when I wiped. No stool was present during that BM. I was concerned at the site of blood and called the Doctor to schedule a Saturday appointment. Saturday morning, all the symptoms passed from Friday and I felt normal. I called the Dr and the nurse said if I felt fine that I didn't need to come in. Easter was the following day and I had a nice dinner with my family. Monday went normal, as did Tuesday morning. The blood issue from days prior was still in the back of my mind, but I wasn't concerned anymore since it was an isolated issue.
Then Tuesday afternoon hit. I had no BM on Monday (after eating a large Easter dinner). Nothing Tuesday morning either, but Tuesday afternoon it was exceptionally large. Soft, but very, very large. This got my mind racing for reasons I cannot explain. For most of my life I've always seemed to have stomach problems. I burp a lot, stomach/intestines rumble after eating, bloating, then gas. Gas relieves the stress but it builds backs and repeats for a bit after eating. Well, I did the worst thing I think I could have done. I googled symptoms. I saw colon cancer. I called the Dr on Wednesday and scheduled an appointment for Friday April 25th. For two days, I stressed, worried and drove myself crazy thinking I was done in this world. My legs shook constantly, my mind raced, and I had diarrhea both Wednesday and Thursday - lost my appetite to eat, which then fueled more worry because colon cancer symptoms on the website I saw were a loss of appetite/weight loss. This obviously kicked my mind into overdrive and everything just kept getting worse.
By Friday, I was a mess. Hands were shaking, I was on edge. Couldn't concentrate at work, stomach aches from not eating well, etc... During this time, no blood in stool that I could see, but diarrhea like I said. Friday came, Dr came in and I couldn't even get everything out of my mouth fast enough. I had wrote everything down from that previous Friday till that day. I told him about the google search and how I was convinced I had colon cancer. He did not do a rectal exam, he just pressed on my abdomen listened while I took breaths and then scheduled a colonoscopy for me (May 9th). He said since he wasn't there to see the blood he was going to code it as rectal bleeding. I got more worried - if that was even possible. He told me not to worry and that he didn't think anything was wrong. He attributed the BM issues with my lack of eating properly since that Tuesday evening. I don't know why, but his words didn't stick and I continued to worry and stress. He did say, worst case scenario there might be a small chance they will find a remove some polyps. That freaked me out more just hearing it.
The following Tuesday, April 29th I had a BM and noticed a couple thin streaks of blood on the TP. Yeah, I panicked again. More rectal bleeding. Nothing in toilet, nothing on stool that I could see. I've literally become my own stool inspector over these last couple weeks. It's driving me crazy. I called the Dr and spoke with his nurse. She said "honey, you've got hemorrhoids". She told me to get prep-H and take some Metamucil. I got both that afternoon. I calmed down almost immediately. That night was good. No crazy BM in the morning. Same with Wednesday and Thursday. Then all of the sudden it started to hurt while sitting. Not like pain, but like there was something just inside of my anus, like a large piece of stool that was poking while I sat. When I stood up, I felt fine. I assumed that was still a hemorrhoid. It's been like that ever since. But I don't think it's as bad - it's really hard to tell because of how stressed I am, and how much my mind has been racing. It's clouding my memory to recall what it felt like then vs now. Now I think I have rectal cancer. I can't stop imagining some large tumor inside my anus that I'm feeling when I sit down.
My colonoscopy is in five days. My stress level is at a point where I'm trembling, I feel like I'm constantly in a state of emotional distress - I'm inspecting my stool like I'm a scientist. I had a salad for lunch the other day, and the following BM had black specks in it. I instantly thought the worst. I actually pulled one out and it appeared to be lettuce, but I don't know. Stool wasn't dark or tarry that I could tell. Today, my stool has been green. I've had three BMs in the last four hours. All green. The last BM, the stool floated and had a single red speck in it (that I could see). I had a sandwich yesterday with a tomato on it. Tomato skin?
* Does blood in stool have any non-liquid consistency?
* Do hemorrhoids act the way I described above? Most websites just list general symptoms, nothing explaining in detail.
* Have I suddenly developed hypochondria in your opinion?
I can't really talk to anyone I know, since everyone just keeps saying "you'll be fine". Before all this, I would have believed them all. But right now, I can't seem to get it out of my head because I have way too many doubts about what symptoms I have that are problems, which ones are normal, and which ones are possibly happening because of my stress levels.
I forgot to add. I don't not know of any family history of colon or rectal cancer. My grandmother on my father's side did have some sort of cancer down there I think, but there's nobody to check with.
My dad had Hodgkin's and breast cancer. Died of heart related problems nearly 30 years later.