So here it goes, I've never done one of these boards before but I assume its like a personal journal.. I am 18 years old and have panic disorder, anxiety, depression, and am possibly bipolar. I have had anxiety since I was a very little girl, always attached to my mom's hip since I could walk. She was and still is my comfort blanket, I honestly dont like going places outside of my little city that I live in without her. I do go to school and hold down a full time job, but they both are less than 5 min away from my home. I am terrified of the weather, well, more like snow, rain, wind, and dark clouds, so just bad weather. I love to be by myself and just sleep whenever I don't have work or go to school.. My mom is always concerned as to why I sleep so much, but to be honest sleeping is so much better than the life I am living as of right now. It's being alive without being conscious. And now my anxiety has gotten so powerful that now I cant even control my panic attacks with my mom security blanket to protect me. We recently went on a road trip to California (my entire family, mom, step dad and step siblings) and the entire time I was freaking out about being in an area I was not familiar with along with having to be in a car at night jammed with me and my 3 other siblings. I didn't enjoy the entire trip and cried most of the time just because I was afraid for no reason. It was a constant state of dull panic with random peaks of major attacks. I felt horrible because I knew this was supposed to be a huge trip that everyone was going to enjoy but it just turned out to be a worry about Kyla trip. I could tell my mom couldn't let herself enjoy anything knowing I was standing in the back of everyone afraid to do anything. I am at an all time low right now, and it would be really helpful to have someone, ANYONE just talk for a little bit about their story and possibly relate to mine. Please.