A little background info, I've always delt with anxiety my whole life but after treatments, etc... it seemed to disappear for the most part for my early twenties. 2 years ago my dad was diagnosed with cancer and I had to watch him die for a year before he finally passed (which I was present for). It's been a year since his death and all of a sudden my panic is out of control. The last month it seems to have come out of nowhere.
It first happened when I went to the grocery store, all of a sudden I felt really hot and delirious and my heart started pounding, engulfed in complete fear for my life, I jetted out of the store as quickly as possible. Ever since then I live in constant fear of having another attack. My chest always feels tights, I have horrible knots/muscle pains in my back (which I've always had but now it is unbearable). I often lack concentration and feel as though I am going to faint, especially in places with people.
Every time I feel anything like the above symptoms I spend hours on the internet making sure I'm not dying. I can't live like this anymore. I'm so scared that this isn't anxiety but something more serious. I've been to urgent care twice in which they gave me xanax, which helps temporarily. I finally went to a GP and have been taking zoloft now for a week. I find myself sweating all the times now and sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night like I can't breathe. The doctor told me basically that I should be over my dad by now which upset me, but didn't offer to do any tests to make sure everything else health wise is ok. I'm at my wits end. The zoloft is making me feel worse so far (more anxiety) and I hate to keep taking xanax, especially because they only give me a few pills. I'm either a complete zombie or I feel like I'm dying. Is this what panic attacks are like? I'm so scared. I couldn't even spend time with my mom today because she wanted to go get haircuts together and I feared I would have an attack in the chair. I'm just NEVER at ease, never comfortable. I just want my life back. I'm only 28 years old.