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Author Topic: cant shake confession anxiety  (Read 167 times)

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Offline nathanjh

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cant shake confession anxiety
« on: May 03, 2014, 04:47:01 PM »
hello ive been dealing with this confession anxiety since the start of my relationship with my girl friend. the only thing that seems to help is sorting things out on this forum. help me distinguish between anxiety and things I should actually talk to my girlfriend about. heres my issue today I was in the gym feeling surprisingly good like better than the past few days, even stopped thinking about everything for a solid hour. than while working out I noticed this girl kinda watching me no big deal right. i decided to do an extra set of dips so she could see me before she left just so i could see if she was actually checking me out. Now i have no intension on cheating on my girlfriend in anyway and this was just a curiosity thing that i thought was harmless in the moment and didn't really think about it till i got to the machine (I didn't even do the set just stood in front of it for a second before she left). I instantly felt bad even tho this really isn't a big deal. should i confess or just put this off as nothing and move on. I have noticed when i confess small things it doesn't really help i just find something new to worry about.

please give me a little advice thank you   
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Offline nathanjh

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Re: cant shake confession anxiety
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2014, 07:20:44 PM »
Anybody have any advice it would mean the world
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Offline Rob783

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Re: cant shake confession anxiety
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2014, 09:56:04 PM »
You feel guilty for checking someone out?  You didn't act on anything so there's nothing to be guilty of.
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Offline Beth

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Re: cant shake confession anxiety
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2014, 02:24:07 AM »
I have actually experienced this feeling, so I can relate.

When I was a kid, I started confessing to my mom when I thought about curse words or had any mean thoughts about other people. Now think about that for a second ... when you're a kid and you try not to ever think about "bad" words or "mean" thoughts, those are probably the only things you'll be able to think about. Then, after those words or thoughts would occur to me, I'd feel a need to confess.

Trust me on this one: Stop confessing! They're just thoughts. You aren't doing anything wrong, and it really is impossible to stop thoughts from popping into your head. From my own experience, I think this is just an obsessive tendency. And you'll never be able to "confess" enough to satisfy the obsession. You'll come up with more things to confess, and it will be just a temporary relief until you start to feel guilty again.

Another way to think of it? You're probably doing your girlfriend a favor by not confessing things like the one you mentioned. You could make her worry or feel insecure for no reason. Save any confessions (or apologies) for a time when you've actually done something wrong  :happy0151:

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