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Author Topic: Fear Of.....Fear  (Read 170 times)

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Offline Ringil

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Fear Of.....Fear
« on: May 03, 2014, 02:42:12 AM »
It seems appropriate that as I am having what I call an "anxiety attack" right now. I do not fear death - I fear anxiety attacks. I know, it is a loop of sorts.

What I experience during an attack is:
1) I can not get enough oxygen into my lungs. They are partially blocked and the air that enters is of poor quality. Of course, I know this isn't real. But it does exactly what I'm afraid it will do - create that sensation.

2) I feel that sense of falling that you get on a carnival ride when you drop suddenly toward the earth. It's what I think I would feel if I fell off a 50 story building as I was on my way down. Obviously, I'm not falling as I write this but the sensation is there.

3) I feel a lump in my throat that makes it hard for me to swallow naturally. I'm not sure if this is real or not real.

For years I suffered horribly because I refused to take Xanax because "it made me sleepy" and then I was afraid I would have to have mty panic attack while I was groggy but couldn't fall asleep.

Then a Doctor gave me a sample pack of Paxil (or some similar SSRI) and my attacks got worse. So I stopped taking the SSRI and this thrw me into a panic attack that went on for weeks.

Eventually, I found ways to reduce these events. I also found ways to halt them. This is one of them. Communicating.

I take .66 mg. of alprazolam every night whether I need it or not. I will only take another one if I have a serious attack. I also take a non-prescription medicine called Rescue Pearls which may or may not be helpful. Maybe just a bit. Maybe I just imagine it helps. I have to try.

When I have a very severe attack, I find it helps me to talk to someone. However, most hotlines are primarily ***** lines and I can't bear the thought that I'm taking up space when someone else might need the counselor more than I do, so I call rarely and only for a few minutes. Today, I researched for an online alternative and this is the first and only one that I felt I had good luck with.

So, here I am. Doing better and got post number one out of the way. Two to go.

 :winking0008:








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Anything I post is an opinion© and not necessarily a fact™. I've often benefitted from anecdotal guidance. Your mileage may vary.

Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2014, 12:41:41 PM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2014, 03:24:58 AM »
Hey Ringil!

I'm glad you're here! Welcome! I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. :( But you have plenty of friends here who have your back now!

Never think you are wasting the hotlines time or taking time away from people who really need it. You really need it too and your needs are just as important as other peoples.

Feel free to message me whenever you  need to!
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In the scheme of things it doesn't matter much.~

Offline Shan1983

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2014, 12:38:11 PM »
That sounds just like me,, my day consists of worrying when the next panic attack will hit and how long that intense fear will stick around and what it will do to me,the anticipation is the worst!!
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Constant anxiety and panic,,it's horrible but makes you a very strong person depending how you look at it

Offline Ringil

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2014, 01:19:48 PM »
Woke up too early this morning and that started me toward an attack. I just couldn't face the long day ahead of me without more sleep. But if I take a Xanax at 6 AM, I'll wake up too late.

I decided to take a pain med instead. That is a mixed strategy because while dropping the pain is relaxing, my allocation is only 2 pills a day and I never go over my limits. Never. So, I try to stall as long as possible. That did help and I lay back down and one of the cats curled up next to me and I snuggled with him and drifted back off. So, I'm up now and I hurt but I want to wait until 11 AM before I take another piece of my medication. But I'm not very anxious so that's good.

Now, I must try to distract myself so I don't start worrying about this too much. It's a bit frustrating.
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Anything I post is an opinion© and not necessarily a fact™. I've often benefitted from anecdotal guidance. Your mileage may vary.

Offline Shan1983

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2014, 03:46:48 PM »
It's more than a bit frustrating,,it's a living hell,,I personally don't tske Xanax or klonopin because I panic about what the drug will do to me,,I was prescribed klonopin but am too nervous to take it
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Constant anxiety and panic,,it's horrible but makes you a very strong person depending how you look at it

Offline Ringil

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2014, 06:01:19 PM »
I'm not as tough as you are and I'll take ANYTHING that will help me. Alprazolam is the best of them but it can make you sleepy so I can only use it at night, for sleep as much as for anxiety.

I do find that sharing is very helpful and I have a collection of crisis lines that I use only as a last resort. I'm hoping to build a written form of crisis support right here, but will writing have the same calming effect as talking? IDK yet.

I also use non-prescription "drugs" such as MIDNITE and BACH RESCUE to supplement the Alprazolam.
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Anything I post is an opinion© and not necessarily a fact™. I've often benefitted from anecdotal guidance. Your mileage may vary.

Offline Shan1983

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2014, 07:42:15 PM »
I wish I could take the drugs that will calm you down,but I panic the drug will make me worse,so I suffer through which isn't always the best thing,if a medicine helps that's great,,just wish I could build up the courage to try it
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Constant anxiety and panic,,it's horrible but makes you a very strong person depending how you look at it

Offline Ringil

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2014, 08:01:53 PM »
I resisted Xanax for years and suffered horribly. I had attacks that would last for days.

When I finally used Xanax properly, I had to laugh or curse myself for my stubborn refusal. The stuff actually works - and very quickly.

Maybe you should reconsider your position on this. At least discuss it with a psychologist. Its not addictive like opiates. Occasional use will not addict you. Genuine panic sufferers do NOT get "high" from Xanax.
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Anything I post is an opinion© and not necessarily a fact™. I've often benefitted from anecdotal guidance. Your mileage may vary.

Offline AncientMelody

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #9 on: May 07, 2014, 01:16:15 AM »
I'm sorry you're going through this. I have had sporadic anxiety attacks, but  haven't gone through a full panic-fear-panic cycle except when I was going off  zoloft and having bad bout of PMDD at the  same time. I'll never forget the fearfulness of that  time....so I wish you the best!
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Offline Ringil

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Re: Fear Of.....Fear
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2014, 06:43:25 PM »
Coming off SSRIs was the longest, most brutal anxiety attack of my life. Nothing helped. I would not take an SSRI at gunpoint.

Xanax works fairly well most of the time and I never take more than a mg.

Had an attack last night. Took my meds and went into the chat for 10 minutes babbling incoherently and then I felt better and went to sleep.
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Anything I post is an opinion© and not necessarily a fact™. I've often benefitted from anecdotal guidance. Your mileage may vary.

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