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Author Topic: What has this disorder cost me?  (Read 328 times)

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Offline Shorrttyycm1

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What has this disorder cost me?
« on: April 30, 2014, 06:13:43 PM »
I thought it would be fitting for my first post to list:  What has this disorder (agoraphobia, hypochondria and panic disorder) cost me so far:

1. Leisurely Walks in the park with my son.
2. Playing in the sand with my son
3. Picking my son up from school
4. Being there for his first visit to the zoo
5. Attending teacher meetings
6. Enjoying taking him to baseball or karate practice
7. Enjoying time with friends and family
8. Family vacations
9. Grown up nights out
10. The quality of my marriage
11. Shopping with my sisters
12. Play dates
13. Every single friendship
14. My faith
15. My health
16. Long walks around the neighborhood
17. My love for the mall
18. A promotion
19. My drivers license
20. A better home

So, those are the top 20 things that this disorder has cost me.  I struggle daily to get out of my own head and steal moments of enjoyment or happiness...only moments.  Just wanted to share, thanks for reading.
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Offline dlwood62

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Re: What has this disorder cost me?
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2014, 10:00:03 AM »
I don't usually post on here -- just read to reassure myself that I am not alone!! But, you post touched my heart!! It is so easy to be negative when going through all of this - anxity sucks and being homebound is even worse!! I have suffered off and on (more on) for years and years and find that when I am down and need to be uplifted is when I beat myself up the most. Everyone says go to the dr and get help --  if I could go to the dr I would, what part do you not get that it is impossible for me!!! I was finally able to start seeing a very gentle understanding dr (with the help of my dear sister-in-law) - I have taken paxil and xanax for years and have been able to do more things most of the time. My world is very small but at least I can get around my own town pretty well.
Please take the time to enjoy your child - I opted to not have children because I didn't want to pass this terrible condition to anyone!! I did however do day care for over 25 years and the kids were my world!! They saved my sanity many time over -- I had to go on because of them!!
I am lucky enough to have many family members and many friends that are very supportive of me and understand that I can't always do everything they can. Having their support as well as my husband's is what helps me the most.
Getting rid of the negative thoughts will help you a great deal - I know how hard that is but have learned to tune out some of it. I am able to run a home business and meet with people as needed, I love to do crafts that everyone enjoys, and the telephone is my life line lots of times!! Please, find something that helps your mind turn out instead of inside -- a special game that you and your child can enjoy, learn a new hobbie, read easy going books, anything that gets you brain thinking about good things!!
Hope things start to be better for you!!!
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Offline forever young

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Re: What has this disorder cost me?
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2014, 11:04:55 AM »
this post is close to my heart too. I have had this for all my adult life. I got better with medication but never got way out of my little circle so I have lost a lot too. I think the best thing is focus on what we do have. look for the silver lining in the clouds. I have had a set back with HA added to the agrophobia. I am able to get around also in my town. I can go to few other closer towns with my husband. I am having trouble with my medication. dlwood has the paxil caused you to gain weight? I feel like I need to change my med and don't know what to do next as I don't like changing any way and hope to find something that helps. I am having trouble sleeping so need something that wont up set that. I feel the celexa is not doing all it should. I still have weak spells too.
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Offline t-panic

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Re: What has this disorder cost me?
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2014, 04:31:41 PM »
Hello Shorrtty,

Below is what my panic disorder has cost me so far,

1. My highest paying job (Left last month after a severe panic attack)
2. My ability to drive my car
3. Nights out with my fiance
4. Taking my dog to the park
5. Visiting my family out of town
6. Getting out on my Skateboard
7. My enjoyment of food
8. Seeing my niece and nephew while they're young
9. My ability to progress, work, and better my life

It seems like slowly over the past 2 years I have been losing my life to this overwhelming but ridiculous health problem. It has hit its peak for me and since the end of March I've been a homebody. Seeing more and more everyday what I stand to lose if this keeps up is pushing me to find a solution. We have the ability to control our minds. I just never thought I would lose control of it in the first place and I never thought I would have to work this hard to get it back. I hope the best for you in your recovery.
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Offline LuLu82

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Re: What has this disorder cost me?
« Reply #4 on: May 07, 2014, 05:31:44 PM »
these posts tear me up and I can relate. *hugs*

I would post a list but I don't feel like depressing myself  :laugh3:
 on the flip side, it has given me the ability to not take anything for granted.
a good moment or day is a huge blessing.  I can feel happy by simply looking at some nice flowers.a calm trip through a grocery store is like a fun friday night  :yes:..that was not me before this... before I thought I needed a bigger paycheque, proper career,husband,etc.  i thought I was inferior to others because I felt I should be further along at my age than I am. NONE of that matters to me anymore.
I think once we are recovered, what we take away can be stronger than what it cost us.
knowing the other side will make it easier to feel contentment.

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