This is my first time here so thought I'd introduce myself. My name is Louise, I'm 39 from the UK. I've been suffering with anxiety/depression/panic attacks from the age of 18 although I was an anxious child. I have dealt with these issues in the past with medication mainly and alcohol if I'm honest. My recent "bout" started in February 12 months after stopping my last lot of meds. However this time I really want to deal with it once and for all so for the time being am staying away from the GP and any medication. I started the gym (6 weeks in now) and have had 3 weekly sessions so far with a private counsellor. My anxiety isn't t he worst it's ever been nor the panic attacks purely because I've suffered with them for so long the level of fear they inspire in me has lowered however it's making me plain miserable in general that every day is such a struggle and I can't just go about my business without the worry of how I am going to feel. Waking up every morning with the nerves in my stomach, my muscles cramping etc is really starting to drag me down. I have to admit I haven't got a brilliant relationship with alcohol and on the weeks that I do not drink I definitely notice an all over improvement but sometimes I get so fed up I think "sod it" I'm having a bottle of wine as it's the only time I feel totally normal. I'm going to not drink this week at all just so I can reaffirm to myself that it really does make the matter worse. One of the things that is really making me angry/sad about all of this is the way it affects my relationship with my husband. At my very worst I just want to sit in my bedroom to shut out the noise and it's the only place I feel settled, I get angry he doesn't understand but logically know of course he can't as he's never been through it. So I wanted to talk to folk that have been through this and do understand and can hopefully give me some words of advice or encouragement. The counselling is an ongoing process but at this moment in time I really don't understand how it can help me.