First of all, hugs and my sympathies!!! A parent should never had to bury their child. Don't beat yourself up, it's normal for someone who's gone through something like you have to be anxious. Have you considered seeing a therapist? I've always had anxiety but it got really severe after I had several miscarriages. My therapist really helps as does Celexa.
If the meds weren't helping, the dosage was wrong, you weren't on the right one, or you didn't give them time to work. Do you mind if I asked why you tried?