I've had terrible anxiety all my life and the topic of my anxiety changes every time, sometimes it's more serious than other times. But now I can't stand it anymore, the paranoia of every little noise, the stomach aches and nausea. The horrifying feeling that I will somehow lose my family, or do so bad in school I won't get a job. Or that when I grow up I will be sent to prison because of a mistake. My birthday is in a few days and I will be 15 then, I want my life to be over. I can't put up with this anymore, medicine does not help, the only things that seem to help are crying and time, BUT IT WILL ALWAYS COME BACK. Nothing helps, when I have these periods of anxiety I can't eat because of stomach aches, I spend all my time away from everybody worrying constantly and I pick my toenails until they are bleeding and raw. The idea of ***** has become comforting to me, because I always remember that no matter how bad things get, there is always a way out, the only things stopping me are how my family would be devastated me and how I wish I was had more courage so I could do it now. I feel like a burden to everyone around me, how can I make it stop? is there another way out besides *****? I am so sick of everything, death seems so comforting and inviting. Nothing to worry about ever again, I don't see what could be better.