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Author Topic: Anxiety does not stop, teen with anxiety ready to give up, how can I cope?  (Read 647 times)

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Offline dogboy122

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I've had terrible anxiety all my life and the topic of my anxiety changes every time, sometimes it's more serious than other times. But now I can't stand it anymore, the paranoia of every little noise, the stomach aches and nausea. The horrifying feeling that I will somehow lose my family, or do so bad in school I won't get a job. Or that when I grow up I will be sent to prison because of a mistake. My birthday is in a few days and I will be 15 then, I want my life to be over. I can't put up with this anymore, medicine does not help, the only things that seem to help are crying and time, BUT IT WILL ALWAYS COME BACK. Nothing helps, when I have these periods of anxiety I can't eat because of stomach aches, I spend all my time away from everybody worrying constantly and I pick my toenails until they are bleeding and raw. The idea of ***** has become comforting to me, because I always remember that no matter how bad things get, there is always a way out, the only things stopping me are how my family would be devastated me and how I wish I was had more courage so I could do it now. I feel like a burden to everyone around me, how can I make it stop? is there another way out besides *****? I am so sick of everything, death seems so comforting and inviting. Nothing to worry about ever again, I don't see what could be better.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Number 1, you are still young. There is plenty of time to learn and overcome this anxiety. Number 2, forget about thoughts of ending things. That is what help is out there for. I have no idea what sort of help you get right now. But there is loads of help out there. Anxiety is something that can be beaten. But in order to do so it requires a lot of fighting by us. The answers don't just fall on our laps. We have to learn the right things to do. What works for us. What doesn't work for us. Then we draw up a plan of what we need to do. It won't be easy at all. It never is. You might feel worse before you ever begin to feel better. All the fears you have are very common with anxiety. Losing loved ones. Been a failure in life. We have all had the same thoughts. Very easy to think that way when you are feeling down. But you have to try and learn to change those thoughts around. More positive thinking. Start looking around for things you are good at in life. Bring them into your life as you work towards getting better. No matter how bad it may seem, there is always a road back. You just have to find it and start believing in yourself.
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Offline Piamia

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 :action-smiley-065:Do something. Anything is better than sittning down being in a state of severe anxiety. You need to learn Coping strategies: it's like going to a school for anxiety students. You didn't know how to ride a nike before you tried to master it - give your anxiety a chance to improve. Go to your school nurse/counselor and seek help. You need to practise not letting your thoughts getting the better of you. You can do it. Tell your parents about how you feel, maybe they can help. If you don't tell them, they can't.
Best wishes and report on your action plab :yes:
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Offline dogboy122

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I can't do it anymore, life feels like I'm being crushed by anxiety at every turn. How do people make it? :traurig001:
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Offline Piamia

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They just hang  in there. They learn to cope bytaking baby steps.
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Offline Ange7894

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dogboy,

I'm so sorry you're going through this hard time. I know how scary and overwhelming it is to feel these things and feel like a prisoner in your own head. What sort of support system do you have around you? Friends? Family? What others have said so far is very true. In order to beat anxiety, we have to do the work. Even taking medication isn't going to solve the problem. It simply puts a band aid on it to take the edge off. But we must still work at facing those anxieties and re-training our brains. My first recommendation is counseling, especially if you're having suicidal thoughts. My next suggestion is to find a support system (other than here) that can help you feel safe. Beating anxiety is hard work, but even harder if you're doing it alone.

You can do this. Don't give up.
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Offline dogboy122

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dogboy,

I'm so sorry you're going through this hard time. I know how scary and overwhelming it is to feel these things and feel like a prisoner in your own head. What sort of support system do you have around you? Friends? Family? What others have said so far is very true. In order to beat anxiety, we have to do the work. Even taking medication isn't going to solve the problem. It simply puts a band aid on it to take the edge off. But we must still work at facing those anxieties and re-training our brains. My first recommendation is counseling, especially if you're having suicidal thoughts. My next suggestion is to find a support system (other than here) that can help you feel safe. Beating anxiety is hard work, but even harder if you're doing it alone.

You can do this. Don't give up.

My family is aware of my anxiety and I have been to a doctor several times. One thing I've noticed that helps is scolding myself out loud when I worry about ridiculous things, It seems weird but it works some.
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Offline will402

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Hello Mate,

I can totally relate to you, I was once your age with the same feelings. I just wanted to say a few short words.

I wanted to give up at the time, but I didnt and you know what, life got better and better. I saw things I would never of seen and experienced life again. Sure I had my bad moments as you most likely will, but what no-one ever tells you is that life isnt straightforward.

Right now your quite near the bottom of your hope, always keep going because once your at the bottom, the only way is up my friend. Keep talking on here and know your not alone!
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Offline s00s

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Man, can I relate or can I relate? Seriously. You've hit the anxiety nail right on the head, buddy.  When I was your age I experienced (like others in this forum) exactly what you're going through right now. What helped me BIG TIME was to just simply realize and acknowledge that I was experiencing an anxiety episode and nothing else. Just accept the fact that you're brain is farting and sooner than later you'll be able to cope with it much easier. It gets better, way better - just stay strong.

Best of luck, kid!

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Offline sarahsmith

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I have a 12 yr old daughter who feels the same as you.  I go from being understanding and super nice and kind to her, to frustrated with her when I try my best to be so nice but she lashes out at me with such extreme anger.  I wish I can take her pain away.  We tried Xanax, and even at high doses it did not help.  While this is unusual, it's not unheard of that Xanax does not work for some people.  So now she is on Lexapro but have not seen relief after 5 weeks.  We have a doc appt today, and maybe he will increase the dose from 15 mg to 20 mg.  That being said, I have read that some meds work for many, but not for all, and that it may take several trials of meds to find the one that works.  And this med sometimes take 8 weeks to see results.  It's such a long wait!  So that is our journey, and I urge you to hang on.  I would be devastated if my daughter gave up, if fact, never would be happy again.  Please keep trying different meds until you find the one that works, and when you find some relief, do CBT therapy as this combo of meds and CBT is found most effective in studies. 
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Offline Paws

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I have a 12 yr old daughter who feels the same as you.  I go from being understanding and super nice and kind to her, to frustrated with her when I try my best to be so nice but she lashes out at me with such extreme anger.  I wish I can take her pain away.  We tried Xanax, and even at high doses it did not help.  While this is unusual, it's not unheard of that Xanax does not work for some people.  So now she is on Lexapro but have not seen relief after 5 weeks.  We have a doc appt today, and maybe he will increase the dose from 15 mg to 20 mg.  That being said, I have read that some meds work for many, but not for all, and that it may take several trials of meds to find the one that works.  And this med sometimes take 8 weeks to see results.  It's such a long wait!  So that is our journey, and I urge you to hang on.  I would be devastated if my daughter gave up, if fact, never would be happy again.  Please keep trying different meds until you find the one that works, and when you find some relief, do CBT therapy as this combo of meds and CBT is found most effective in studies.

Sarah, anxiety never starts on its own. Most of the times there's a cause for it. Is your daughter unhappy or distressed about something? She probably won't tell you straight away, but take it slow. Try to understand her. People with anxiety are extremely defensive of their thoughts, and it takes a lot of understanding before they have the courage to open up. I may assume things here, but I think your daughter feels misunderstood and that is why she lashes out instead of explaining what the problem is. She thinks it's either too silly/ too personal, or there's no way you can actually help her. Being nice is a double edged sword. To an anxiety sufferer, a person who is overly nice to you might not seem genuine. You get the feeling they don't completely understand you.

My advice here? Continue on with the treatment, but keep in mind anxiety is a psychological condition. Sure, there are physical symptoms associated with it, but they won't vanish if the root of all evil isn't plucked. Have a heart to heart conversation with your daughter and find out what truly bothers her. Can be school/a secret crush/ a misdeed or simply a secret. That's the cause. Work on solving the cause and everything will settle back into place.
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Offline 59Ballons

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I totally relate to you, kid. I'm 15 years old too, and have struggled with this anxiety for a long time. I used to be petrified about every little thing wrong with me. I had a slight fever a few months ago, and I literally did not put the thermometer down from my ear for weeks. Whenever my temp went above 98.6F, I freaked out, and because of that, I got warmer, sending my temp up to 99F, and I was convinced that I had a serious illness. All of this unnecessary worrying lead to an upset stomach, and diarrhea, which was my biggest fear besides vomiting... which I had a SEVERE phobia of when I was only 6 or 7 years old. But my anxiety got SO much worse than yours... I'm dealing with issues that you can't even begin to imagine. Please try and calm down. The fact is, things could always get worse, so be happy that you are like what you are now, and I'd do anything to go back to my old self when I was *just* freaking out about getting sick. I went through a period of deep thinking and philosophical thoughts, leading to solipsism and a bunch of other things, including depersonalization, and I didn't even feel *real* anymore. It was a struggle to even get out of bed and all throughout the day I had mini panic attacks and I was constantly freaking out over the face that I was *alive*. I have been coaxing myself out of this dark hole for a week or so now (knock on wood) and I'm feeling better. Now I don't think that I'll ever be anxious about the incredibly useless nuisance to my life of worrying about being sick... because I was scared of life itself. That put things into a major perspective for me. This sounds incredibly harsh and ass-holeish: but to be honest, what you are dealing with now is easily beatable, and its just downright silly.
When you hear the words "thats what help is for" and "there is professional help" and "medication only takes the edge off", I'm sure you worry and think that this is going to be a long, drawn-out process. But honestly, WE'RE FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. Before my dark period of life, I was worrying about getting sick and all that... but it got worse for me because I'm a really deep thinker. But just remember that ***** IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM. There are people living in dirt shacks in Ethiopia who are struggling to drink sewage to live another day on this earth... and here we are living in a 21st century world with plenty to eat and drink, contemplating ***** because we feel anxious. Take a deep breath and calm down. Watch a movie or something like I did when I felt anxious. Go out and socialize.


**** Also, the root of your problem is *probably* being afraid of being sick, or messing up, or something like that. Take comfort in the fact that those are just thoughts, and they cant hurt you unless you give into them... becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy, making you feel sick, which is what you are freaked out about happening in the first place.
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Distraction is life's best remedy.

Offline sarahsmith

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Paws,
My daughters always been an anxious little kid.  Got embarrassed easily & would have a meltdown.  Seemed like she had this inner struggle with wanting to do something, trying to, then running from it with anxiety.  The root of my daughters MAJOR anxiety though was when she switched schools and was basically shunned by her classmates all through 6th grade.  I am a school teacher and pretty understanding and chilled, but over this past year I've developed the patience of a saint and we are VERY close.  She tells me I am her best friend as she can tell me anything (which I am sure is not completely true).  She feels misunderstood most definitely.  Because she has anxiety but I am trying to get her to the tutor (being homebound schooled by the school district presently) and then trying to get her to complete her homework (even if it's just her telling me the answers while I write them, or just listening to the book while I read it).  So I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Failing school would definitely be bad for her anxiety, but being the one that has to prod her to do her work makes her very angry with me as she feels she simple can't with the anxiety she feels.  She really needs a break for all stress.
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Offline bodhi

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I recommend doing TEA Forms http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/anxiety-and-positive-thinking-and-choices/news/view/1478155 from the book http://www.tao3.com/index.html which continue to help me. Many people on this forum say TEA Forms actually cured them.

Also "Calculating the Probability of Danger" which made me realize the for all my worst fears I realistically have a 99% chance of being just fine. Check out page 6: http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Managing_Obsessions.pdf

Also, be sure to read the success stories part of this forum: http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/board,81.0.html
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