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Author Topic: Haven't had a REAL connection with anyone  (Read 318 times)

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Offline Dhyana Flynn

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Haven't had a REAL connection with anyone
« on: April 25, 2014, 01:53:04 PM »
There have been a handful of people that I have been very close to over the years but they were few and far between. I have recently moved to a new town across the country from where I had lived for the past 7 years. Towards the end of that 7 years I had finally started to make real friends and have meaningful relationships, however, it was short lived due to the fact that moving far away was inevitable. So here I am starting over. The problem is that is seems like most people are very phony. They act a certain way but are very different than they want the world to see. I find this to be very scary, since people can act very reckless and crazy and drag you with them. I'm also finding that people are down right rude. They get annoyed easily and seem to be very impatient even when they are not in a hurry. There are lots of people that want to party all the time which is fine if it works for them. However, I am 30 years old, married, and have a child in middle school, so partying is the last thing on my mind. Also there are lots of interesting people who already have lots of friends and aren't interested in making any more.

It's so hard to meet people!! REAL people. Besides my husband, I cant remember the last time I had a really good friend. Someone I could talk to about anything and have a deep connection with. Its getting harder to have to live like this with no one to connect to. Some times I just want to go see a movie with someone. Sometimes I just want to go grab dinner and check out a book store with another human being!! I'm not religious so joining a church is out of the question. I'm happy to get out there and meet people but I have no one to do that with so I'd be going everywhere alone until I started meeting people. I feel weird about this. People are less inclined to strike up a conversation with some random person standing there. Does anyone know what this is like? How have you all handled it? Any advice is appreciated!
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Offline beebleezy

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Re: Haven't had a REAL connection with anyone
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2014, 04:39:25 AM »
Hi There!

I feel like there's many things you can try doing to meet more people. Maybe start by walking around your neighborhood/park/trail, and if you walk along the same path every day soon people will see you more often, and maybe more inclined to strike up a conversation. Have you tried befriending people at your job? You gotta work with these people for countless hours in a day, that's a lot of time together right? Sooner or later some sort of bond will grow.

I think the key is repetitiveness. Let's say if you go to a gym twice a week, you'll see people who are usual's there as well. Easy way to start up a conversation because sooner or later your paths will cross.

I also think people usually come off as rude or hateful as a defense mechanism. A lot of people have trust issues. You're new, so people might have to feel you out first. I think once you become a familiar face their icy demeanor will melt.

For right now be the best person you can be! Act confident (even if you have to fake it), people love confidence. Even if people give you a hard time don't let it sway you because they're missing out! Love yourself and others will love you too.

Best of luck to you darlin.
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Offline Petioptrv

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Re: Haven't had a REAL connection with anyone
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2014, 03:25:29 PM »
I'd suggest to look for clubs and social groups that interest you (something like book clubs, movie clubs even) where you can meet people more like you (that have outgrown the partying stage). You would be surprise of the amount of clubs and groups that are being held. Also, although more time consuming, volunteering is a great way to meet people.
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