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Author Topic: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.  (Read 523 times)

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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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I just discovered this lump yesterday. It's hard, painless, doesn't move, and it's at the back of my neck near the skull. I think it's my occipital node. This is stressing me out sooo badly that I couldn't even bring myself to go to school. I saw my doctor on Tuesday for an unrelated infection and she noticed I had lost 8 pounds in the two weeks since I saw her last. That freaked me out, but she assured me it was my anxiety even though I felt I was eating well enough. My anxiety was pretty well controlled these past two weeks, with hardly any stress and no panic attacks or major worries. I thought for sure I was on the uphill climb after months of being in the dumps, only to find out I was losing weight.

So the losing weight combined with this new lump I found has convinced me it's cancer and I'm dying. I'm only 26. I know it's so incredibly stupid to google health issues, but I feel somewhat safer and more active when I do that compared to just sitting around and worrying about it. Which I know is utter crap because googling it makes me worry more about it, but I just can't stop! Everything I've found online tells me that a hard, unmoving, painless lump is cancer and I'm dying. Of course it does.

I have an appointment with my doctor in two weeks to see how my weight is doing, so that would be the time to bring up this lump. But I'm terrified I'm going to go completely insane in these two weeks. Any help, or someone with a similar story, or anything that could just help me get a grip would be much appreciated!
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2014, 10:13:18 PM »
Okay, take a deep breath.

I had several hard lumps on the back of my head where lymph nodes are.  I also had night sweats and other worrisome symptoms.  I went to my doctor a couple of times.  Got tested for everything. 

My swollen nodes were the result of eczema on my scalp.  I switched to dandruff shampoo.  They eventually went down (AND my scalp stopped itching!  Now if I could just find dandruff shampoo that doesn't smell like ass.) 

The other symptoms went away on their own in time.  I can only assume it was being stressed out that did it. 

I'm going through another lymphoma scare myself right now.  I get how horrible it is.  But I had hard, immobile nodes in the same areas you do, and they turned out to not be anything. 
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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2014, 10:29:11 PM »
Thank you so much for the reply! That really does relieve me somewhat. It's just so insanely hard to accept good comments and life in general when I'm convinced I'm dying. While I still feel panicky, you've given me some comfort.

Can I ask about your current scare?
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2014, 11:15:46 PM »
I know, it's easy to assume the best for others, but it's always the worst for ourselves!  Sigh.

I've got a lump in my armpit that feels like the glands in my head did.  Doctor said it feels like a cyst to him, though.  (And he probably knows better than me!  I had other lumps in my head/neck area that felt like this that he also said were cysts, that went away on their own...so who knows?) He's not worried regardless and told me not to worry about it unless it keeps getting bigger.  It seemed to be getting bigger to me, but that could well be in my head.  I'm trying to totally ignore it for a few weeks and see what happens with it.  Hard not to worry, though.
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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2014, 11:40:28 PM »
It's hard to trust the doctors when we're dead set on the worst scenarios.

Can I ask, did you have any symptoms on your scalp? Cuz mine is totally fine and not itchy and doesn't bother me. I don't even have dandruff.
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2014, 12:30:07 AM »
I did have itching.  But it could be a lot of things causing your swelling besides that - internal infection, allergies, etc. 
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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2014, 02:06:55 AM »
I am battling a gum infection right now, so everything isn't right in my body anyway. I really hope that's all this is! I dunno if I can survive these two weeks of waiting for the doctor. I just feel so stressed out and like I want to vomit all the time.
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2014, 06:08:17 AM »
Your gum infection is probably the cause of the swollen glands.   Infections usually cause swelling in the lymph nodes nearest to them.  In the case of your gums, those would be the ones in your head/neck area.
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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2014, 06:30:55 AM »
I want to believe that so badly, but this bump is really high in the back of my neck that I can see no way it could be related to my gums. Of course, I didn't notice the lump until my infection started, and that's a big coincidence to ignore...now if only I could trust in logic instead of my panic.
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2014, 09:51:57 PM »
Yeah, anxiety doesn't like logic and fights against it. 

You'll be seeing your doctor again soon, and nothing bad is going to happen until then, so try to ignore it.  I know it's hard, but worrying about it won't help, and again, it really probably is just the infection. 
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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2014, 11:27:50 PM »
Thank you so, so much for your support. You really helped to calm me down. It's very kind of you!
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Offline ProofAutumn8246

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2014, 12:42:20 AM »
An update just in case anyone is curious about how it ended:

I had my doctor take a look at the lump and she told me it was nothing to worry about. It happens a lot when people are fighting off infections.

All that worry over nothing!
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Offline Ihadcancer

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2014, 09:00:20 AM »
My son had his ocipital nodes swell very large. He had seborrhea on his scalp.  We hadn't really noticed it but the dermatologist was able to scrape it and orangey like pieces of skin flaked up. He DID have some VERY teeny tiny pimples at his hairline.  When his scalp condition was cured, his nodes went down VERY slowly.
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I'm so scared of this lump I can't eat, sleep, or go to school.
« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2014, 08:45:38 PM »
Glad to hear it!! 
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Tags: hard lump neck lymphoma 
 

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