I have read a lot of mole threads on here and hate to bore with another one, but it helps me to write this down.
A couple weeks ago, I noticed that a small mole on my back was painful and inflamed. I think it became inflamed after I scratched it because it was next to a bug bite, but I am not sure. I was concerned so I went and saw a dermatologist the following Monday and she took a shave biopsy of that mole and another small mole on my back that she said looked dark. I asked if I should be freaked out and she told me not too lose sleep. She was not too concerned by the look of them. If she was overly concerned, she would have fully removed the moles instead of shaving them.
Of course I am really anxious and I have lost sleep waiting for the results, but my fear improved the longer I waited. I think I thought that bad news would travel fast. I was told I would hear the results in 7 days or else I should call. I did not hear anything and called on Wednesday (today)--after 9 days. I spoke with the doctor's assistant and was told the mole was sent to another lab for further testing. This completely freaked me out. I asked what that means and the doctor's assistant said it means it can still be benign, but needed further testing. I think I had a panic attack when I heard this. I figured it meant she knew it was bad and was finding out how bad. I googled about mole biopsy pathology and found nothing good--which I should have know would happen. I weighed myself and realized that I have lost 3 to 4 pounds in the past year even though I have not been actively dieting. I went crazy thinking I have an advanced stage of cancer which is causing weight loss. I don't even know where my lymph nodes are, but I imagine them inflamed and painful.
I have tried to calm myself all afternoon and evening by telling myself to listen to the doctor's words and the doctor's assistants words which have told me not to be too worried. Still, it is so hard. Sometimes, I think I can deal with this and other times I feel panic taking over. I have had so much health anxiety since my son was born and I do not know how to manage it. I am so afraid of leaving him. Maybe I need to find a therapist when this scare ends--if it ends. I hate myself for panicking. I have tried to maintain my composure in front of my son and tried to get my work done, but it is so hard.
They said to call back on Friday if I have not heard anything. Ugh.