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Author Topic: Adult Separation Anxiety  (Read 203 times)

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Offline izzy

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Adult Separation Anxiety
« on: April 22, 2014, 03:49:30 PM »
Hi

Not sure if this is the right area to post about this but I'm new here so not sure where to go.

Ever since I was 9/10 I have suffered a kind of extreme homesickness. To the point where I couldn't even have a sleepover or go on residential trips with school because I would miss my parents so much or fear being abandoned or something happening to them. I When I was about 15 I overcame this for a few months and managed to stay over with my friends for the night however after our friendship grew apart I haven't since. I should point out that when I was 14 I was put on roaccutane for just over a year and became very depressed, it got worse and worse until I was put on citalopram for depression and anxiety last year for 6 months.
I just turned 20 and am studying at Uni but have been living at home and commuting in. However, this year is a placement year and I have got a work placement in Bristol, about and hour and a half drive away from where I live so I won't be able to drive into work everyday and I am absolutely terrified of moving away and leaving my family, I am crying everyday and feel physically sick at the thought of leaving. I was supposed to start work in September however they called and said they now want me to start on May 26th, 3 days after my exams finish. I did some research and what I am experiencing sounds exactly like adult separation anxiety disorder, I was wondering if anyone else has experienced/overcome this? I have just started taking st johns wort but I am pretty desperate to find out how I can stop feeling like this, it is ruining my life.
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Offline kconnors

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Re: Adult Separation Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2014, 05:30:17 PM »
Hi,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story . . .don't worry about where you post items . . we have fantastic moderators and if they think that you will get more help in a different forum, then they will shift you over . . .

I'm not sure if you have ever worked with a counselor when you were younger to identify the root causes of your anxiety about separating from family. It is not an unusual one because most of us do get separation anxiety going into a new environment . . . I guess I would ask you some of the following questions . . .

1.  have you spoken with a professional about your separation anxiety . . .not just a prescribing doctor for meds, but someone who could help you with management techniques and finding out why. Sometimes a trigger can be simple.

2.  do you know anyone else going on the placement in Bristol? If so, could you buddy up with that person? Where will you be living in Bristol? By yourself? Does uni have any contacts where you might be able to stay with a host family? Sometimes that helps . . .

3.  will you be able to return home on the weekends?

4.  will the placement keep you busy? will you have access to some place where you can exercise, even just walk? Is there a walking group?

5.  if you are taking St. Johns Wort, are you taking any prescribed meds? If so, check out to make sure there are no interactions between the two, okay>

I'm sorry that I could not be of more specific help to you, izzy, but keep checking here. We have great folks on these forums and I bet there is someone with better suggestions than I can offer . . . please let us know how you are doing, okay? We may not be able to solve the problem (we're not med professionals) but we are pretty good at providing support  . . .take care, kc
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Offline izzy

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Re: Adult Separation Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2014, 03:44:51 PM »
Hi kc,

I have never spoken to anyone about how I feel except my family. I feel embarrassed about the whole situation and feel like I would just be told to grow up and get over it. I have never known anyone who is unable to sleep/move away from their family so I've kind of felt unable to mention it and would always make excuses as to why I couldn't go somewhere.

I will be the only placement student there and I don't know anyone in Bristol, I am currently having to look for accommodation but it just makes me feel worse knowing I will be moving, I am also scared because my parents want me to go into a flat share and I know I will be freaking out and it would just give a bad impression to the other people living there. I will definitely be returning home at weekends.

I haven't received the contract for the placement yet so I don't even know what the hours will be, or if I will have to do work outside the office. I just wish I had never even applied.
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Offline Mishpaz

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Re: Adult Separation Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2014, 09:00:14 PM »
If you are feeling that apprehensive you may want to find a place of your own. I am sensing that your fear of being thought of as crazy by flat mates just may exacerbate your symptoms further. You can always meet up with people when you feel up to it. You can call home each night if need be. Also keep a light on when you are sleeping at night. I have always found that comforting. Bring things from your room that are also comforting. Also make sure you have items to distract you like word games, magazines etc. you may also want to speak with your physician. There may be something he can prescribe to get you over the initial hurdle.
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