I've suffered from panic attacks for what feels like my entire life. I remember the very first panic attack. I was in the trunk of our family's SUV with my cousins, driving home from a family friend's house late at night. I all of a sudden had that tingly, terrified feeling and had to move to the back seat with my mom. I think I was about 8 years old? I don't remember. But I know I was really young.
I get all the typical panick attack symptoms. Reading about severe panic attacks is like reading about my daily life. I've tried therapy. I actually found a good therapist who helped me realize that I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. But she moved away so I was back to square 1.
I feel like I am constantly floating in a realm of panic and de realization. It's always right there, sometimes I notice it and sometimes I don't. I guess that's the thing with panic...it's always there!
Among other things, I'm scared of feeling trapped - highways, cars, elevators, planes, etc - and a huge fear is the doctor. It doesn't matter which type of doctor. The therapist I was seeing helped me realize that one possible trigger is when a situation changes - like if I'm staring at a computer screen then get up and walk somewhere. Or if I'm looking at something then look somewhere else. That's when I feel the depersonalization. Panic hits me if I'm just relaxing with my best friends, too, out of nowhere.
I'm tired of it. I'm hoping to connect with people who truly understand what I am going through and I hope we can help each other!!