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Author Topic: Guess who? ALS anxiety.  (Read 280 times)

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Offline thenomnomnomicon

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Guess who? ALS anxiety.
« on: April 20, 2014, 10:17:33 AM »
I have read every ALS entry on this site, but still feel the need to express my symptomization and hopefully receive a resounding, 'lol you're dumb'.

A few weeks ago I suddenly developed paresthesia that has appeared to have turned into twitching. At first, when the twitching hit, it was INSANELY bad. Hundreds of twitches a minute throughout my legs and trunk and now neck. The twitching has periods of remission and generally seems to follow my level of anxiety. I've also started getting what I think are cramps throughout my legs and body. Nothing impairing, just painful sometimes. I'm a 22 year old male. I thought up until the last three weeks I had my anxiety under control which is what frightens me most about this experience. The sheer spontaneity with which this has seemed to hit me. I know I am obsessing over the symptoms. Every twitch causes me increasing anxiety. I do not think I have problems swallowing, but I am hyper aware of it all the same. My hands seem largely unaffected and my feet probably incur the least amount of 'hard' twitches than any other part of my leg, although they do buzz, but that's fairly normal. I've also been hyper aware of my breathing and pulse throughout this. Before this ALS thing, I thought I had acoustic neuromas from a very abrupt case of tinnitus onset. I just need reassurance. Someone to tell me they've been through exactly this and I am stupid. I will also likely be hospitalized this coming week for intensive mental health care. I do not know if I'm experiencing limb weakness. My legs shake a bit when I bend them and hold the position or when I descend stairs slowly. I know I am twitching in my sleep and have woken up several times in a state of absolute panic and twitching. I feel like I can't handle the anxiety related to this at all. Xanax, Valium, any medication doesn't seem to help. I have a neurology appointment tomorrow. I have been to 11 ERs and my GP and have had a neuro consult. None of them seemed concerned, but only a few mentioned the extreme unlikeliness of having this disease. I'm afraid to even say the word and cringe whenever I hear it. I've lost all appetite and I've been noticeably dehydrated (my piss looks like rust). I'm terrified. Even when I'm smiling I will jump to implicate the disease as it affects emotional expression. I feel like I have lost all control and live in a perpetual, debilitating, state of panic. I have also had 3 MRIs, a CT, numerous neuro examinations, and even when I come up with a reason this cannot be happening, I quickly find ways that it indeed could be. Even writing this I'm experiencing a lot of twitching. Tell this is delusional. Tell me I'm entirely insane and my body is fine. I register on a conscious level that this is INCREDIBLY unlikely, but I cannot convince myself of it to deter intrusive thoughts and panic. I thought I was having shortness of breath and still sometimes suspect I am even after testing my lung capacity. On the rare occasions I do not feel panic about these symptoms, I still experience them to a degree which causes me to wonder if they're anxiety induced or not. I am ritualistically checking the strength in various parts of my body and swallowing to check if I feel a lump. Sometimes I think I do, but I could just be hyper sensitive to it. I just want the twitching and pain to stop so badly. I am absolutely miserable with preoccupation and concern. I'll also add I experienced the twitching before knowing of the disease. Then made the shitty decision of googling twitching.
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Offline Nk904

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Re: Guess who? ALS anxiety.
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2014, 10:30:29 AM »
I'm going to PM you.
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