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Author Topic: Sick of living like this...  (Read 181 times)

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Offline Hypowoman90

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Sick of living like this...
« on: April 18, 2014, 12:56:48 AM »
I am so sick of living with anxiety. I have lived with this as long as I remember. Even as a 5 year old, i suffered form anxiety. Onlythen I was worried about being murdered and monsters, and being kidnapped... 

I have social anxiety. It has stopped  me from being social and making friends and now, iy has caused me to be isolated and socially isolating my 3 year old. He doesn't know how to socialize and I wonder if that will ever be rectified, or if it's permanent.

I am afraid to drive. I am 24 years old and do not have a driver's license. I rely on my partner to take my son and I to places and I can't o a lot of things because of it.

As you probably can guess, health anxiety is also making my life hell...

Along with my own fears... I also am highly empathetic towards others and it is emotionally draining.

Do any of you ever feel like...not living anymore? Wonder what it will feel like to never have to feel anything again?  One of the things stopping me is my fear of going ot hell... My son too. But soetimes I feel like he might be better off without me... Although I get over that quickly when the feeling comes up.
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Offline Snowy

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Re: Sick of living like this...
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2014, 01:39:55 AM »
You sound exactly like me.  I'm 25 and don't drive.  I was always afraid to go to bed as a young kid, and had night terrors.  I was afraid of people breaking in and fires mostly.  I also have social anxiety, which I'm trying to work on right now.

The first thing I must say is your son would definitely not be better off without you.  He loves you just the way you are.  Second, I've thought that so many times.  I've wondered what the point in living is, when all we do is get older and sicker, destined to die anyway, and in the process have to lose our parents and loved ones.  Sounds to me like we're already in Hell sometimes.

But then I try to think of something positive, like just the past year.  If I'd have given up life last year, there are great things I'd have missed, just in the past months.  Believe me, I understand your struggles, but I feel there's always hope.  Tomorrow is another day.  If nothing else helps, at least live for those moments that are few and between but are wonderful. (:

I wish I had something better to offer, but being in the same boat, I don't. 
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Sick of living like this...
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2014, 11:34:13 AM »
I can't enjoy anything anymore. For the past few weeks I haven't even feel like leaving the house.
I haven't been happy in years.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Sick of living like this...
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2014, 12:03:14 PM »
Consider therapy, hon. If you are thinking about death as a 'way out', even if you are not seriously thinking of harming yourself, it's a sure sign that you need to do something and soon. You don't deserve to live like this. Some therapists may be able to make home visits or even ***** calls if you really don't want to leave the house.

As for your son, can your husband take him out somewhere when he's not working? That at least will be a load off your mind.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Sick of living like this...
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2014, 12:12:28 PM »
Consider therapy, hon. If you are thinking about death as a 'way out', even if you are not seriously thinking of harming yourself, it's a sure sign that you need to do something and soon. You don't deserve to live like this. Some therapists may be able to make home visits or even ***** calls if you really don't want to leave the house.

I already see a psychiatrist for my adhd. A few months ago I told him about my hypochondria and he prescribed me a low dose of prozac. But I only started taking it regularly about a week ago...

I'm kind of embarrassed to tell anyone else. Even my current psychiatrist ( and I've been seeing him since I was about 8 years old.)
I feel like there are so many things wrong with me.

As for your son, can your husband take him out somewhere when he's not working? That at least will be a load off your mind.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Sick of living like this...
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2014, 12:20:15 PM »
Don't ever be embarrassed!  :yes: They see way worse all the time. There's little you can do or say that will deeply shock them. They're the people you're supposed to tell about these things. It's better to tell, feel a little embarrassed for a few minutes, then get help and move on with your life, than to keep it locked up and stop enjoying everything.

Also if this person has been seeing you ever since you were 8, I'm pretty sure they'd rather know if you were upset/isolated than not. But you can't move forward until you pluck up the courage to say something. Do it for your boy, if anything. Wouldn't it be nice to take him out somewhere, enjoy a day out together without worry? Let that be your goal. Keep going with the prozac, too. If it doesn't work or you don't like it, you can just stop taking it.
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