A poem I wrote during an "attack" hope it help others

[tired_of_tripping]

Shaky hands and heart palpitations
Shortness of breath and repeated conversations
Worries and worries and thoughts death
Thoughts of dying with every breath
Missed appointments and loss of concentration
Deep breathing pleasant thoughts and medication

What will control this out of control feeling
Fatigue and trouble coping and dealing
Stuck in a world alone….wanting a life of my own
Disturbing everyday living, taking over life
Will I ever be a mother or even a wife
Can my body handle that responsibility
Or will I continue my life in misery

Will the thought of dying cross my  mind everyday
Can I control it? Have I tried every way?
Every ache and pain and odd feeling within
Turns into a feeling that my life will soon end
Control it …no but lessen it yes
I convince myself I am ok…well I try my best

A hidden secret I have tried to keep
But my family they felt it when I began to weep
As the tears rolled and I began to shake
My family’s hearts ….I felt them break
Do not worry…I begged and pleaded
It’s my problem….but they  wouldn’t leave it

They look for causes and beg me to change
Its that job …..they began to blame.
Is it? Is that the core of my stress
I try to stay calm…lord I try my best
But yes it gets to me and triggers something inside
Personality disturbances that I can’t hide

Changes yes can make it better
But stress free? No, not all together.
To give up and quit, no that’s not me
But with all of these changes that’s how it must be
Do I want to leave a job so great? No
But the changes in me that the stress creates
Is it worth me yelling at my niece and nephew for nothing
Or hang up on my mom when she needs me to pick up something
Or completely avoid my dad cause our attitudes now clash
Or say words to make my sister feel like white trash
My boyfriend who thinks without me the stars would fall
Should he doubt that I care for him at all

All this is new to me, in the past 18 months changes you see
I used to be all calm cool and collected
No worries no cares no feelings neglected
Now happiness is very short term
Because I know the uneasiness will surely return

Anxiety has lessened and energy crashed
For now I will sleep before the chance has passed


Part 2
All are sleeping, all but me
I’m trapped in this world, it’s in my head you see
Am I dying now or suffering from a disease
Waiting and waiting to set my mind at ease
But thoughts roll in and thoughts roll out
Sure I’ll wake in the morning but yet there’s still doubt

My body craves rest and relaxation
By anxiety has more determination
Awake I will be until I crash
Sleep doesn’t come till the fear I pass

Wake the others and tell them goodbye?
No need I’ll live and they will surely cry
Wake them and tell them to keep a good eye
In case I faint or stop breathing should I
But why, why disturb their peace
Let them rest, oh let them have their sleep

Is this a curse, have I did something wrong
Living this life, is it worth living long?
What is life when you fear dying every night
A day with NO ANXIETY …never …not quite


I hope this helps everyone realize they are not alone. Please let me know what you think of it. God bless!!

[Xalatimo]

wow very nice poem can def. relate esp the curse part..it does help getting it out in the open so its not a secret to ur family that lessens the anxiety

Changes yes can make it better
But stress free? No, not all together.
To give up and quit, no that’s not me
But with all of these changes that’s how it must be
Do I want to leave a job so great? No
But the changes in me that the stress creates
Is it worth me yelling at my niece and nephew for nothing
Or hang up on my mom when she needs me to pick up something
Or completely avoid my dad cause our attitudes now clash
Or say words to make my sister feel like white trash
My boyfriend who thinks without me the stars would fall
Should he doubt that I care for him at all

my favorite part, amazing.  almost reminds me of an eminem song!

[tired_of_tripping]

Thank you so much. I hope everyone enjoys it. I wouldn't let anyone read it for a long time because I thought people would think I am crazy. But I have now come to terms with the fact that I am crazy. lol

[Xalatimo]

ppl who think u r crazy just dont understand and are ignorant..anxiety causes ppl to think this way, its normal, all humans have felt this way before as well, and if they didnt, theyre lying.  anxiety just amplifies it 100 times

[tigerpaw]

I can relate!!!!

[mommy_2_4_babies]

 :sign0087:This is the best poem I have ever heard about anxiety it is so realting THANK YOU 4 SHARING IT

[jenny649]

This is an amazing poem, and I can definitely relate.

[sportybears]

that was an amazing poem!! I totally realate 110%! Thank u for sharing that with us, it was beautifully written and really captured the feeling of a panic attack!!