Hey everyone, hmm where to start I, I'm terrible at introducing myself always have been let's see, I'm not sure what I've got going on right now since I've been thrown around by the NHS for the last 3/4 months and I'm yet to get a clear answer. That or I'm too tired to remember it. Now I've always been a nervous person who worries a lot (I'm also a bit of an optimistic pessimistic person, my main saying in life is "Hey, things aren't great right now, but it could be worse."), I enjoy doing puzzles, drama and writing, playing video games and annoyingly I can only write things and do puzzles right now since I get too anxious to do any of the others.
My nerves and worries never got in the way of me living my life until last year at first I was incredibly skeptical of anything being wrong at first I just got really nervous over a period of exams at the time I wrote it off as just being stressed over exams but it never really settled down afterwards I'm in college now which was an environment which made things worse, I kept having anxiety attacks in lessons I started to get habits which I'm not too happy with like I bite my nails, I pull at my hair which isn't very good since now one side is shorter then the other and it others me, flex my hands get restless and start pacing, I had to take 5 minute breaks from the class room but I found this frustrating because I was so hard wired in my head to just having a normal experience I didn't want to be anxious and tended to emotionally rollercoster me I'd get frustrated at my inability to stay in a lesson then Angry about it then I'd usually sink down for a bit and notice that people were looking at me and that didn't help, and it was really starting to interfere with my life since it wasn't just at college any more when I got home I'd find myself pacing through the corridoors at night trying to decide on things so I went to my gp and have been on a waiting list for a while now
But the college was great in accommodating for me but it was still difficult and in February it got worse and I couldn't get myself into college I stopped being able to enjoy college and the anxiety and stress it put me through just caused me to close up a bit so I teach myself at home, I started to get anxious at home and can't really be left alone at any point in time regularly, I recently started a medication called Sertraline which has ironically made things worse although reading around the site has convinced me to stay at it despite the short term kick between the legs it gives you.
Well that rants over the moral of the story the first step is the most annoying and inconvenient one you'll ever take because it's crumbled away a little bit so you can never quite see it until you've got your foot on it.