I first encountered intrusive thoughts last fall. Mine tend to be centered around violence, either towards myself or others. Needless to say, it' has been a terrible several months, but I have slowly been getting better. For instance, the thoughts don't come as often, and when they do, they don't linger as long anymore and they feel less powerful.
The thing I still struggle with is feeling like I need to keep monitoring my thoughts. If an intrusive thought comes, I feel like I have to be on guard so that I don't act on it. It's like I don't trust my own mind enough to let it have these thoughts without my undivided attention and supervision. To put it more simply, I feel like if I don't actively oppose these thoughts, I will somehow think they are ok and act on them (go crazy). It's terrifying when it happens. I'm not violent, and I don't practice self harm, yet I still get these terrible thoughts.
Hopefully that makes sense to someone out there, and if so, does anyone have any suggestions for getting control and learning to trust yourself again? Any success stories on managing these thoughts would be appreciated!