So, I was poking at my back yesterday for non-HA, 'ow my muscles are seriously sore' reasons and discovered a lump on my spine. It's about an inch and a half, two inches in diameter, is sore (though possibly from poking it so often), and feels more like bone than anything else. I don't know how long it's been there, whether it's grown, anything.
I keep trying to tell myself it's a lipoma (even though I have one of those and it feels... different?) or something equally benign, but all the random things wrong with me that have been there for months - lower back pain, messed up menstrual cycles, leg cramps - are terrifying me. I don't want to go to the doctor, because I'm alone for a few weeks and can't deal with the thought of going without moral support to come home to, but I also don't want to spend a month in terror about cancer.
Basically: ugh. HA is the worst.