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Author Topic: Worried my son has autism....  (Read 1038 times)

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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #30 on: April 16, 2014, 11:44:41 PM »
Don't feel guilty. It is more likely the bilingual aspect that is prompting the speech delay, which will rectify itself eventually.

In other words, I'm sure this is temporary - even if you didn't talk enough when he was younger (and it's possible you are deeply underestimating yourself on this front), I'm sure there is no permanent damage. You are doing plenty of talking now which will certainly help him in the lead up to speech therapy. Not only that, but growing up with two languages is giving him an amazing head start. Bilingualism opens up awesome experiences in both life and careers.
I HaVe noticed that his receptive and expressive language has improved a great deal since I started putting in the extra effort...
I worry that he would cooperate with the speech therapist because he doesn't know her. He doesn't know how to socialize.he  has never been alone with another person  besides me, my father and his father. He has never met another kid his age, either.  I have been extremely isolated since having him.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #31 on: April 17, 2014, 01:26:53 AM »
Well, my googling has sent me in to full panic mode... I keep googling what could cause a 3 year old to not be able to talk and the only things that are coming up are forum posts telling horror stories about how their 3 y/o wasn't talking either and they turned out to have severe mental handicaps... I will click on something that looks encouraging, only to see another mom who's kid still can't talk at 12 years old....

 Right now I feel nauseous, doomed, and depressed... I keep breaking out in cold sweats. I can't for the life of me get this out of my head... I'll think of something that is reassuring that he will probably be just fine. Such as, ''he can connect emotionally with people'' and then I'll be fine for maybe five minutes... Then I think of something that makes me worry. Mostly from something I read in some kind of forum or a comment under an  article about speech delays or something. I keep imagining him having profound disabilities,our lives ending, and caring for him until i die of old age. It goes on and on and it never stops.. I can't think of anything else,  or do anything else.  I have been this way for about a week and I have lost a lot of weight since then... I was about 160 and now I am 145. that was  about two days ago.. It could be even lower now. I feel like I am going crazy. This is the worse my hypochondria has  ever been. Ever. My significant other is getting frustrated with me.

I'm supposed to be on prozac.  I was prescribed it about 2 or three months ago but have not been keeping up with it... I've been taking it regularly for the past few days but I don't see a difference.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #32 on: April 17, 2014, 01:33:00 AM »
Did anyone's speech delayed child also scream a lot? I mean not like when they were upset,.... just randomly scream while playing?

Every, and I mean EVERY child screams when they play randomly. Lots of kids dont talk for a while. The doctor saying they need to be saying "Mom, I would like a new toy now please." Is the problem that parents get freaked out. The doctor told me at 18 months my child should be saying 20-30 words. Every child learns at their own pace. Not sure why you think your child is mentally handicapped. I have worked with handicap and non handicap children and kids with autism. I can positivly say that your child is 99.99999999% normal.

It's mostly his speech delay, excitability, and the screaming thing. He does it when we talk to him sometimes too. Like I would repeat a word to him over and over trying to get him to say it. Sometimes he attempts to say it, other times he just does this grunting/yelling type of thing instead of trying to say it or if we try to get him to say it more that once... Perhaps its due to his inability to talk but I have never seen another child do this ( although I will admit I have not been around very many kids his age).

I am analyzing every sing;e thing he does. And I mean everything, and googling it.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #33 on: April 17, 2014, 01:49:49 AM »
Well...  I was reading another forum and some lady was told to take her son to have genetic testing done. Another thing for me to worry about. I know I am only doing myself harm... But I cannot overcome the compulsive need to keep reading things.
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Offline Cattia

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #34 on: April 17, 2014, 02:40:21 AM »
Whilst I REALLY do not think your son has autism, it would be better for you to talk to a doctor about your worries than people on forums. Most of those people you are talking to will have kids who have issues so of course their opinions of what you tell them about their son will be clouded by their own experience. The fact that he is in. Bilingual household will certainly slow down his speech acquisition (although he will catch up and it's a good thing in the long run). Also try talking to him in simple sentences. Instead of saying 'do you want to put your cup on the table' say 'cup on table'. My friend is a speech therapist and this is one of the strategies they use with younger children to develop their speech. I know how hard it is to stop googling but it isn't going to give you any answers,  only other people's experiences which don't apply to you and most of them will be negative.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #35 on: April 17, 2014, 03:17:16 AM »
Whilst I REALLY do not think your son has autism, it would be better for you to talk to a doctor about your worries than people on forums. Most of those people you are talking to will have kids who have issues so of course their opinions of what you tell them about their son will be clouded by their own experience. The fact that he is in. Bilingual household will certainly slow down his speech acquisition (although he will catch up and it's a good thing in the long run). Also try talking to him in simple sentences. Instead of saying 'do you want to put your cup on the table' say 'cup on table'. My friend is a speech therapist and this is one of the strategies they use with younger children to develop their speech. I know how hard it is to stop googling but it isn't going to give you any answers,  only other people's experiences which don't apply to you and most of them will be negative.
All I have read said that bilingual kids do sometimes experience a lag in language development, but it shouldn't be THIS bad...
I have moved on from worrying about autism to worrying about genetic diseases(due to the post on another forum I mentioned in my previous post  and other mental disabilities in a matter of the time I wrote my previous post, to now... I am nuts... I feel so ashamed for being like this... I just want us both to be normal.... i mean, I do have a learning disability and had severe ADHD as a child, and I turned out ''fine'' but for some reason that brings me no comfort. 
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #36 on: April 17, 2014, 09:14:08 AM »
Well...  I was reading another forum and some lady was told to take her son to have genetic testing done. Another thing for me to worry about. I know I am only doing myself harm... But I cannot overcome the compulsive need to keep reading things.

Yes. Yes you can. Googling does not help, I repeat, does not help: It achieves nothing except to make you feel worse about the situation. It will not give you the answers or the comfort you are looking for, it will not help your son in any way. Please cease and desist immediately.

I wasn't lying about my friend with the bilingual child, by the way - he was about to start pre-school, he was getting on for four, and he still wasn't speaking. Then she dropped Hungarian and within a surprisingly short amount of time he caught up with the other kids his age.

Give your son the benefit of the doubt. Kids with speech delay or low speech ability often scream or shriek because they have no other way of communicating, it doesn't mean they have a mental disability. Why your son hasn't mixed with other children I don't know, it's your life and your business, but as he will be starting school in a few short years you might want to try introducing him to some. He needs to learn how to socialise with other children.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #37 on: April 17, 2014, 02:34:26 PM »
Well...  I was reading another forum and some lady was told to take her son to have genetic testing done. Another thing for me to worry about. I know I am only doing myself harm... But I cannot overcome the compulsive need to keep reading things.

Yes. Yes you can. Googling does not help, I repeat, does not help: It achieves nothing except to make you feel worse about the situation. It will not give you the answers or the comfort you are looking for, it will not help your son in any way. Please cease and desist immediately.

It is very hard for me. This, I think is the worst part of my hypochondria. The obsessive need to keep googling until I am satisfied. If I don't google, then I can't think of anything else. It's like something on your body itching really badly and not scratching it and it get worse and worse until you can't think of anything else besides scratching... I know that's a weak  analogy but I can't explain it any better. I was thinking about checking myself in to the psychiatry ward but  I can't do that...

I wasn't lying about my friend with the bilingual child, by the way - he was about to start pre-school, he was getting on for four, and he still wasn't speaking. Then she dropped Hungarian and within a surprisingly short amount of time he caught up with the other kids his age.

I didn't mean to imply that you were lying. I apologize if I come off that way. I am unsure if it is the spanish or something else. he is at home with me all day and then when his father comes home he speaks spanish to him.

Give your son the benefit of the doubt. Kids with speech delay or low speech ability often scream or shriek because they have no other way of communicating, it doesn't mean they have a mental disability. Why your son hasn't mixed with other children I don't know, it's your life and your business, but as he will be starting school in a few short years you might want to try introducing him to some. He needs to learn how to socialise with other children.

Because I had a child young ( 20 ) and lost all of my friends. I feel like I can't relate to the older moms and avoided trying to meet some because I am self conscious about the fact that I had a child early. I feel judged. I know that's irrational. I also suffer from social  anxiety. When I had my son, I was free from it for a couple of years, but it came back again after having him.
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Offline Cattia

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #38 on: April 17, 2014, 02:50:15 PM »
I do think you need support. Do you have family you can talk to? Have you tried searching to see if there is a group in your area for younger parents? Or even a support group for parents with mental health issues, it would be good for you to meet other people and get out and about.I would go mad if I was on my own all day with my kids (well, even madder lol!)
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #39 on: April 17, 2014, 02:55:22 PM »
I'm sorry people have been judgemental about having your son. While 20 makes you a 'young mum', it's certainly not ridiculously young, like say 14. I can't understand their attitudes. To be fair I don't know what part of the world you live in, but it's so stupid that you had to go through that. :( I'm really sorry.

I know googling can become an urge, but the less you do it the easier it will be to fight it each and every time, and it really is only making you feel worse. Instead, why not search for other young mothers in the area? There are guaranteed to be women of a similar age living near by with little ones. I think as much as anything you deserve a break from being alone all the time :) if you've been isolated for a while, it's only natural that you've centred your world around your son, and notice everything he does.

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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #40 on: April 17, 2014, 03:20:40 PM »
I'm sorry people have been judgemental about having your son. While 20 makes you a 'young mum', it's certainly not ridiculously young, like say 14. I can't understand their attitudes. To be fair I don't know what part of the world you live in, but it's so stupid that you had to go through that. :( I'm really sorry.

I know googling can become an urge, but the less you do it the easier it will be to fight it each and every time, and it really is only making you feel worse. Instead, why not search for other young mothers in the area? There are guaranteed to be women of a similar age living near by with little ones. I think as much as anything you deserve a break from being alone all the time :) if you've been isolated for a while, it's only natural that you've centred your world around your son, and notice everything he does.

Thank you. This is very  hard and embarrassing to admit, but my partner, son and I hardly leave the house... Sometimes we go to the park when it's warm but it had been very cold. We hardly left the house this winter. Maybe once a week when we needed to get groceries... My son has never met a stranger. In Feb when we went for his preschool evaluation, that was the first time he met a stranger in months and months. He has met one stranger since then a nurse and he gave her a hug the second time he saw her...

My partner thinks this might be a huge part of the problem.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #41 on: April 17, 2014, 10:16:21 PM »
Also only a few people have judged me. I don't think EVERYONE would judge me but I'm afraid to try.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #42 on: April 18, 2014, 11:36:35 AM »

Also, have you ever had his hearing checked. My nephew took forever to talk. Come to find out he couldn't hear. Once he got tubes he started talking and hasn't stopped since!
Did your nephew have any other signs due to glue ear?
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #43 on: April 18, 2014, 12:00:09 PM »
Also only a few people have judged me. I don't think EVERYONE would judge me but I'm afraid to try.

Conversely to what we might think, the world is generally full of nicer people than not nice. If you had you son at 20, then you must be 23/24 right now. That is not an unusual age to be a mother, so I doubt you'll have to face much more of the nastiness you received from some people.

Don't be afraid of what others think. You are clearly a good mother - you wouldn't be posting on here if you weren't - so there is nothing you need to fear from rude people who should keep their business to themselves.

Go on, have a look for a mother and toddler group near you. :) It can't hurt. If you go once and you have a bad experience, you don't ever have to go again. Many young mothers, especially those with their first child, will be familiar to feelings of 'isolation' too, so if you just say how nice it is to get out of the house, you feel like it's been years since you spoke to someone in the real world, I'm sure the other moms will know what you mean. :)
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #44 on: April 18, 2014, 01:10:15 PM »
I was watching videos on YouTube (not related to autism or anything ) and this came up in the recommended videos side bar. http://youtu.be/p3n7Pm9UkJg

I couldn't help but click it.


And this is how my son sounds....
 Dying... I'm dying this is killing me.
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