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Author Topic: Worried my son has autism....  (Read 2248 times)

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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #40 on: April 17, 2014, 03:20:40 PM »
I'm sorry people have been judgemental about having your son. While 20 makes you a 'young mum', it's certainly not ridiculously young, like say 14. I can't understand their attitudes. To be fair I don't know what part of the world you live in, but it's so stupid that you had to go through that. :( I'm really sorry.

I know googling can become an urge, but the less you do it the easier it will be to fight it each and every time, and it really is only making you feel worse. Instead, why not search for other young mothers in the area? There are guaranteed to be women of a similar age living near by with little ones. I think as much as anything you deserve a break from being alone all the time :) if you've been isolated for a while, it's only natural that you've centred your world around your son, and notice everything he does.

Thank you. This is very  hard and embarrassing to admit, but my partner, son and I hardly leave the house... Sometimes we go to the park when it's warm but it had been very cold. We hardly left the house this winter. Maybe once a week when we needed to get groceries... My son has never met a stranger. In Feb when we went for his preschool evaluation, that was the first time he met a stranger in months and months. He has met one stranger since then a nurse and he gave her a hug the second time he saw her...

My partner thinks this might be a huge part of the problem.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #41 on: April 17, 2014, 10:16:21 PM »
Also only a few people have judged me. I don't think EVERYONE would judge me but I'm afraid to try.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #42 on: April 18, 2014, 11:36:35 AM »

Also, have you ever had his hearing checked. My nephew took forever to talk. Come to find out he couldn't hear. Once he got tubes he started talking and hasn't stopped since!
Did your nephew have any other signs due to glue ear?
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #43 on: April 18, 2014, 12:00:09 PM »
Also only a few people have judged me. I don't think EVERYONE would judge me but I'm afraid to try.

Conversely to what we might think, the world is generally full of nicer people than not nice. If you had you son at 20, then you must be 23/24 right now. That is not an unusual age to be a mother, so I doubt you'll have to face much more of the nastiness you received from some people.

Don't be afraid of what others think. You are clearly a good mother - you wouldn't be posting on here if you weren't - so there is nothing you need to fear from rude people who should keep their business to themselves.

Go on, have a look for a mother and toddler group near you. :) It can't hurt. If you go once and you have a bad experience, you don't ever have to go again. Many young mothers, especially those with their first child, will be familiar to feelings of 'isolation' too, so if you just say how nice it is to get out of the house, you feel like it's been years since you spoke to someone in the real world, I'm sure the other moms will know what you mean. :)
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #44 on: April 18, 2014, 01:10:15 PM »
I was watching videos on YouTube (not related to autism or anything ) and this came up in the recommended videos side bar. http://youtu.be/p3n7Pm9UkJg

I couldn't help but click it.


And this is how my son sounds....
 Dying... I'm dying this is killing me.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #45 on: April 18, 2014, 01:15:04 PM »
Please stop looking at anything autism related. Please. Even if there are similarities, it does NOT mean your son has autism.

Book him in at the docs ASAP because I think you need to hear it from a professional, not random articles or videos online.
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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #46 on: April 18, 2014, 03:21:40 PM »
He's already been evaluated. By the school district. They told me they couldn't tell at the moment, because he wouldn't really cooperate because he was scared ( there were about 6 different people who took him in to a room alone and that was the first time he has been alone with anyone besides me or his dad ).

He also had a tantrum when they took him. He scratched and bit them and banged his head.

Anyways I am sure when they spend more time with him they will come to the conclusion that he is, if not autistic then severely mentally disabled....


Maybe I am just in the grieving process. I am positive he is disabled and I can picture my life from here on out.

My partner and I are on the verge of breaking up... I will be alone caring for him for life. I will never know what it is like to be in a loving relationship again or being able to go out with friends... Basically being alone and miserable like all of these stories I hear from women ho had to raise mentally handicapped children alone.  Many of them are constantly stressed and suicidal.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #47 on: April 18, 2014, 03:31:07 PM »
Listen, you have to stop this negative thinking. You've already worked out in your mind that he is this or that, but you have no proof and no definite answers.

Your son was scared at the school evaluation because of the isolated life he's been leading. He scratched and bit because of his speech delay - when they can't talk, they need to express themselves in other ways, and scratching and biting is the most common, along with screeching. And his speech delay is most likely in part due to his being from a bilingual household where he doesn't socialise that often outside the family unit.

Here is what you need to do:

1.) Take him to a doctor, not a school evaluation. Explain to them about his fear of strangers, they might be able to make allowances for that when testing him. Surely that has to be better than sitting and doing nothing except upsetting yourself?
2.) Talk to your psych about your own issues with anxiety and social phobias.
3.) Stop. Googling. For the love all all that is holy. No googling, no research, nada.
4.) Talk to your husband about how you feel. You need his support. What does he think about your son? Are you supporting each other? I know he works but is there any chance he can help get your son out the house every so often when he isn't working to explore the world and experience society until you are better equipped to do it yourself?

You need to act, not sit around, google and make yourself sick with worry.

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Offline Hypowoman90

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #48 on: April 18, 2014, 03:51:28 PM »
Listen, you have to stop this negative thinking. You've already worked out in your mind that he is this or that, but you have no proof and no definite answers.

Your son was scared at the school evaluation because of the isolated life he's been leading. He scratched and bit because of his speech delay - when they can't talk, they need to express themselves in other ways, and scratching and biting is the most common, along with screeching. And his speech delay is most likely in part due to his being from a bilingual household where he doesn't socialise that often outside the family unit.

Here is what you need to do:

1.) Take him to a doctor, not a school evaluation. Explain to them about his fear of strangers, they might be able to make allowances for that when testing him. Surely that has to be better than sitting and doing nothing except upsetting yourself?
2.) Talk to your psych about your own issues with anxiety and social phobias.
3.) Stop. Googling. For the love all all that is holy. No googling, no research, nada.
4.) Talk to your husband about how you feel. You need his support. What does he think about your son? Are you supporting each other? I know he works but is there any chance he can help get your son out the house every so often when he isn't working to explore the world and experience society until you are better equipped to do it yourself?

You need to act, not sit around, google and make yourself sick with worry.
He

thinks I'm crazy and he is like that due to being so isolated . He thinks he just needs some therapy for his speech and he will eventually be fine. He said I need to have my head examined.
 A part of me worries he is in denial.
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Offline snowberry

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Re: Worried my son has autism....
« Reply #49 on: April 18, 2014, 04:13:56 PM »
While he certainly could have been more delicate with how he said it, I think your husband sees what we all see - that the problem lies with your health anxiety and social phobia, not with your son.

Having crippling phobias and anxieties is nothing to be ashamed of, though now that you know how they are negatively impacting not only your own life, but the life of your son, will you please talk to your psych about it? Tell your husband that you are going to talk it over with your psych and that you need his support, not criticisms. It is his son as well as yours. Then, take your son to the doctor asap even if you have to make an emergency appointment, tell him/her your fears, and get him/her to examine your son.

Above all, do something, even if you find it hard or scary, do it for your child.
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