This is my 2nd time around on this board. I had a nervous breakdown in 2011 after a series of unfortunate events (brothers death, loss of employment, cheating mate, and general life stressors). I was able to come out of it okay using acupuncture, juicing, and just taking care of myself. This time around my story is a bit different. Life was good for me last year began dating the love of my life, moved to another state, and started chasing my dreams of modeling. Things were looking great in my life. In October 2013 my aunt who raised me was diagnosed with incurable cancer. I came back home to take care of her and thats when it all began. I became her caregiver and advocate so that meant days some times weeks on the cancer floor. I started having insomnia, the insomnia turned into panic, and anxiety. I was handling it all pretty well so I thought until I became fearful that I would get cancer. I stopped eating, sleep most of my days away, and am constantly obsessed with reasearching cancer. My new cancer fear is lung cancer after finding out the rate of non smokers with lung cancer is on the rise. I ended up in the ER freaked out because of this. They ran tests and gave me a chest xray and gave me the all clear but can't getit ut of my head. I'm only 29 and am not ready to die. My bf took me to crisis the other day and they wouldn't admit me. They gave me Celexa and Valium. Now I'm lethargic and just sleep. I'm losing hope that my life will get any better. I just want my energy back, I want to be the social butterfly that I once was, I want to laugh and not be consumed by my thoughts. Is there any hope? Can anyone offer pointers?