So much to say....where do I start, lol I'm 31 and I have 2 boys, one is 3 and the youngest is 22 months. I have suffered from both health anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. I have to say that the events that happened in my life from 2007-2009 are what exacerbated my HA to the point that is now. I was having respiratory problems and chest heaviness/tightness. It felt sort of like a bout of bronchitis that I couldn't shake. I went to the doctor who sent me to the hospital for chest x-rays and pulmonary function test. I was diagnosed with moderate to severe emphysema. This shocked me! I thought this was something that only older people get. I was devastated to have such a diagnosis at only 25. I made an appointment with a Pulmonary Specialist who went over all of my tests and told me it wasn't emphysema at all, but asthma. I honestly didn't know how to feel at this point. So I got a third opinion with another Pulmonary Specialist just to be sure. He gave me another PFT, which was consistent with the first PFT, and diagnosed me with reactive airway disease/asthma. So after being prescribed 2 inhalers, I was 100% better. I came to be somewhat distrustful of doctors at that point.
About a month later, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. They originally thought that it was advanced ovarian cancer, but it turned out to be peritoneal mesothelioma. Surgery was not an option for her, so she was given chemo. The chemo was working great. Her tumors were shrinking and she was feeling better. We were very hopeful. A few months after that, my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer. He lived for 4 months before succumbing to his illness. It just took him so quickly. I hate cancer.
Fast forward to 2009, my Mom was still on a low dose/maintenance chemo and was doing well. I was a nursing student at the time when I started having strange symptoms. My periods had been irregular for the last year, which I had originally attributed to stress. I found it very difficult to concentrate at school with everything going on. I had pelvic pain/pressure and other female issues. I was constantly crying. I had convinced myself I had some type of cancer, was so depressed that I couldn't function and eventually dropped out of nursing school. I finally got up the nerve to go to the doctor. It turned out that I was 20 weeks pregnant! I was so relieved and excited! My Mom was excited too and she was looking forward to meeting her grandson. A few weeks later, my Mom's oncologist was considering taking her off the chemo because she was doing so well. He ordered some scans to check her progress. During a routine PET scan, my Mom suffered an arrhythmia and died suddenly.
I haven't been the same person since. Collectively, these events were the catalyst for the worsening of my HA.
I guess my main health fear is cancer. I've known many people who have had cancer and only a few who survived. Anytime something is wrong with me, the first thing that comes to mind is cancer. The thoughts are very consuming and exhausting. I just want to live a normal life without the constant fear and worry that I have some terminal illness. I keep worrying that if I die now, my children are so young they won't even remember me. I have a difficult time trying to figure out how much/if any of my symptoms are real or just anxiety. Anyway, I came across this site while googling my current symptoms. I thought it might benefit me to join and talk to people going through similar situations. I look forward to talking with you!