ok...first of all...breathe.....you have a lot of stuff going on right now and it's normal to stress. In fact if you weren't stressing, that would be reason for concern ...haha.... Let me say first that I am sorry about your mom. Pancreatic cancer is not a pretty thing. My grandfather passed away from that at 94 years of age and it wasn't pleasant. My sister-in-law was diagnosed with lupus about 15 years ago and she has no symptoms whatsoever right now. She has been in remission for as long as I can remember. Most times I totally forget that she even has it. I know one of the signature effects of lupus is a butterfly rash across your nose. Now, with that being said...don't go and check your face in the mirror...the weather is changing and you could just as easily have some sun on your face...so don't self test.
Something that I always do is this...I stress about something...I hear somebody has an illness...and miracously I have the same symptoms. For example...my dad was in the hospital around Christmas time...that's a stressor...Christmas is a stressor...His admitting diagnosis was that of pulmonary embolus (blood clots in the lung). Not a good thing to have. So of course, I started stressing about having a clotting disorder myself. Our minds just focus too much on the negatives in our life. We need to try and look at the positives more.
I get your fears...believe me...I have my own of some rare neurological disease. But I get up everyday and I choose to make a list of my positives. No lie here...I started a list at the beginning of the year and write at least one positive thing that happened...I love going back and reading it and seeing all the wonderful things that happen on a daily basis and I can't remember one negative thing that happened.
Basically, what I am saying is that even if we have something wrong, which we don't, wouldn't you rather focus on the positives in your life? Even if you have lupus, which I am sure you don't, you can still live a long and happy life. Heck, my sister-in-law just had another baby! I mean, she isn't letting it get her down.
When she was diagnosed she couldn't hardly get out of bed from being in so much pain. She has been running 5k and taking care of a baby! Don't let life get you down! Just keep swimming and stay positive!