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Author Topic: can't believe I'm having lymphoma panic again. thought I had moved on.  (Read 204 times)

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Offline mollyfin

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I'm still panicked about the lump in my armpit.  The doctor didn't think it was anything to worry about, but to come back if it gets bigger.  I've managed to not touch it since, but I can't stop thinking about it and worrying about it.  I don't know what to do to get myself under control.  I feel like I want a second opinion, but I don't know if that's me being reasonable or me being health anxious. 
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Offline marc

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I can understand how you feel, as I have been told not to worry about things and I
still do at times. It may not be the right thing to do, but a second opinion may make you
feel better.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline Aimee1875

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I still worry about the ones in my neck too and even though over the past week they have definitely shrunk,I still believe that there's something wrong. Maybe just go back  and explain your fear about lymphoma and get piece of mind x
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Offline Ira

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I occasionally get the lymph node scare as well.  I have two on both sides of my neck right where the shoulder muscle connects to the neck that i first noticed last week.  Went to the doctor to have him check them.  Small, smooth, mobile, and tender.  He sent me away saying its something probably viral and show none of the signs of anything serious.  They hurt right now and occasionally my mind wanders to scary thoughts but I know the pain means they're healing.

I actually have a node about the size of a quarter under my left jaw that has always been that way.  Used to get strep throat every other week when I was a kid, so the doctors assume that caused it. 

Honestly if I had never google'd "swollen tender lump" I wouldn't even be scared just annoyed :laugh3:.
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Offline mollyfin

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Mine feels hard and fixed to me, but so did the ones on my neck and those went away, so maybe that's just how my pissy lymph nodes feel.  What makes me uneasy is that my doctor says this is a cyst, and I really think it's a node - this isn't the first time he's called what in hindsight what was an aggravated node (I had one on my neck for quite some time years ago, exactly the same as the ones that recently freaked me out) so I'm second-guessing everything. 

For the record I do trust my doctor.  Just...not right at this moment.  I did say something like "so it's probably not a tumor?" and he said no, he didn't think so.  He's familiar with my HA. 

Right now I'm just making myself NOT TOUCH IT.  But then I'm like what if it's growing?  What if I die because I refuse to let myself touch it and it's cancer and it spreads?  But refusing to touch them was how I managed to get past the fear of them last time.  (But what if it's really bad this time?!  Etc.  Y'all know how it goes.)

One of the things I hate most about HA is not being able to tell a reasonable question or concern from something my mind is creating.
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Offline Aimee1875

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Exactly what I'm like!! If I leave it for a few days I'm like 'what if it's grown and I don't know' so they I play about with it then it goes hard and starts to get bigger and then I begin to panic. Honestly please don't touch it then it may begin to disappear,even if I don't touch mine for a few days I feel that they've went down so just be patient with it. I hope it starts to get better soon!! X
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Offline mollyfin

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I managed to not touch this one for a couple of weeks and it didn't go away (it could have gotten bigger, could just be my imagination though), but maybe it just needs more time.

I can't really have cancer right now anyway - no time! - jury duty, friends coming out in a couple of weeks, I start a program for mentally ill people trying to become employable - I just want to ignore this for now and worry about it later.  But then it starts, what if I leave it and it gets much worse in that time, etc.   >:(
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Offline Aimee1875

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How long have you had it? I've had mind for over 2 months now and I think I have to come to terms with the fact that it's unlikely I have lymphoma as I'm 14,it has shrunk a great amount and hasn't gotten any bigger. Also what size is it? Could it maybe be a shotty node.
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