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Author Topic: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears  (Read 421 times)

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Offline Storyweaver

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I just feel so scared. T_T I can't take it anymore. I was found to have an ovarian cyst, then another, with two ultrasounds. I was supposed to get a follow up, but money has been tight and I keep having medical bills. I should have done it.

I have been having on and off lower back pain, alternating bowel habits (constipation/fine/etc), having to pee about once every two hours, stomach pain, ALOT of bloating, really harsh strong period, and feeling very tired.

I wish something could calm me, but nothing can. I see several people my age with ovarian cancer (I'm 23). Many of them were found with ovarian cysts and the doctors tried to leave it at that. But many times, the cysts were later discovered to be cancerous. I've been having more issues the last two months... My ultrasound was 6 months ago. Am I going to die? T_T

I feel like I am going to die. That I am going to be found with cancer. I have so many things to do, and I am just sitting here about to cry right now. This is driving me absolutely crazy.

Ovarian cancer is the most deadly cancer for woman. I am so scared. Please help. I don't even know what to do.

My regular doctor suggested blood tests and a sonogram. That's going to be expensive. I don't know what they are going to find, and argh. My pelvis hurts right as I type this... T_T
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Offline PainIsAnIllusion

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2014, 02:25:06 AM »
I'm so sorry you're in fear and experiencing this dreadful feeling.... I'm a big pragmatic and statistical person... Of course as stats go, even the smallest numbers can land on any of us. My fear is ALS which for my age is slim as slim can get... But it can happen.

Odds are one of myself, my sister, my mom or dad or kid will die of cancer... 22% it's so scary but the thing we can't change is fate and although I can preach it! I have trouble coping with the fact that something COULD BE. My father tells me that what will happen will happen and there's nothing you can do to change what will happen other than medicine and treatments and advancement in treatments.

The chances of any if us dying are 100% it's just a matter of when and how. None of us want to die young, and I have no problem with those that self loathe, it's a common natural phenomenon... There are only a few people that can control their fears, they are a rare and blessed breed because you actually ruin what days and life you have by anxiety and worry.

The chances of ovarian cancer (actually the 5th most deadly cancer to women but first gynecological deadly) at your age are under 5%.... Having said that, there is about a 35% chance of survival IF you do have it... With better chances on your side with your age and of course early detection.

The best advice I have is to stay regular on your check ups and screenings so if something is to show up, you will be ahead of the game and reduce the risk of spreading. 

I'm here to help not scare so if some of the things I say scare you, then I apologize in advance....

22,000 cases will be diagnosed this year... 5% of that is 1,100 .... With a mortality rate of 65% but with your age and tenacity of being proactive I'd say that lowers it by 5%. The mean age of diagnosis is 63.

660 women under 35 will die of ovarian cancer this year.  With about 165,000,000 women in the country, that puts your odds of dying , to my estimate at roughly 1 in 250,000.

Of course I'm decent at math but I'm not Isaac Newton ... But if those were my odds , I'd feel fairly confident in my chances... I mean I can't even win a drawing of 1 of 300 people at work ever... So think about how unlikely 1 in 250,000 would be if my numbers are even anywhere near close to accurate.

I'm wishing you strength and warmth in your time of anxiety and distress, I hope the best for you and will send you positive thoughts and energy.  I hope this helped some.

Peace and warmth.

T
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Offline PainIsAnIllusion

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2014, 02:38:07 AM »
Money should never be an issue when it comes to health. An ER can never send you away... Worst case, find the best hospital in your area and if you need to 'play it up' a little to get them to act make sure to devise a script that will lead them to check you out besides going in and telling them you are fearful. I'd say even exaggerate symptoms if you must.... If they feel your health is an emergency they may run the right or desired diagnostics.

It's the best suggestion I have for you, dear.

T
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2014, 02:58:01 AM »
I went through this same thing.  My cyst was big enough that they said "okay, yeah, that needs to come out" because I was in so much pain.  Think grapefruit.  I had ALL the ovarian cancer symptoms, including a positive blood marker test (CA125?  I think?  I'm having a total brain blank.  Whatever it's called, normal is, I think, under 35.  Mine was 249.) 

I DID NOT have ovarian cancer.  I had endometriosis.  Still do, in fact, since after all that it's growing back again because I couldn't tolerate the birth control they used to attempt to keep it from regrowing.  Luckily it's asymptomatic; not going through surgery again unless I can help it (not because it was a horrible experience; because my insurance company screwed me over and I'm 20k in debt for a surgery they claimed they'd cover, then found a loophole to duck it.) 

It's possible to have ovarian cancer in your 20s, but it's really, really unlikely.  Meanwhile, ovarian cysts are incredibly common.  I talked to someone who worked in a GYN office and she told me that she could count on one hand the number of ovarian cancer patients she'd seen in her entire career, but that she literally lost count of the cysts she'd seen before the first WEEK of work was over. 
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2014, 06:33:37 AM »
And this is why I believe google to be one of the biggest problems for those of us with HA.  There are always cases in all disease processes where something that appeared to be benign wasn't benign.  There are those who experienced misdiagnosis.  There are those on the net who just have a distorted view of their medical history.  There are those on the net who attention seek for secondary gain.  We base our peace and joy on these stories...sacrificing our mental well being on a few anecdotal stories that we can't confirm as fact.

The fact is this, ovarian cysts are VERY common.  Most women of reproductive age get them, and in some they get big enough to become symptomatic usually during ovulation.  Ovarian cancer usually appears as a complex cyst rather than a simple cyst.  It's why you don't have millions of women getting their ovaries biopsied.  The medical community has gotten pretty good at figuring out which ones are benign and which ones need further work-up.  The fact that your physician didn't want to go further in your work-up is a good sign.  The VAST majority of ovarian cysts are benign.  So, why is it that you believe you have ovarian cancer?  You had an ultrasound that didn't concern your physician showing a very common finding.  You have pain with it which is completely consistent with ovarian cysts.  So why are you catastrophizing? 
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline Storyweaver

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2014, 07:00:06 AM »
Thank you so much for your responses.

I think I am freaking out because my gynecologist did want a follow up of sorts. She wanted to remove part of the ovary "for diagnosis". And she wanted a third, follow up ultrasound. I called her and asked if she was suspicious of cancer and she said no, but then why did she say that?

I am also freaking out because these symptoms are driving me nuts. Right now I have cramping in my pelvis and legs. It just sucks. All of it.
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2014, 07:26:32 AM »
Thank you so much for your responses.

I think I am freaking out because my gynecologist did want a follow up of sorts. She wanted to remove part of the ovary "for diagnosis". And she wanted a third, follow up ultrasound. I called her and asked if she was suspicious of cancer and she said no, but then why did she say that?

I am also freaking out because these symptoms are driving me nuts. Right now I have cramping in my pelvis and legs. It just sucks. All of it.

I'm very sorry that you are uncomfortable.  If your GYN wants to follow up, then you follow up.  If she said she wasn't suspicious of cancer then accept that.  Docs do follow up for a number of different reasons and one of them is called CYA...cover you ***.  Docs don't like to miss things and follow up is often for the sake of protecting the physician.  In this law suit happy world we live in physicians especially OB/GYNs are paying monster malpractice payments...often OB's is in the 6 figures per year.  Therefore they over follow up...over work up everything.  And we wonder why the medical system is so broken?  I digress...don't take the fact that she wants to follow up as something horrible...she is doing her due diligence and making sure you are ok.  So, follow up by try not to worry.  I know...easier said than done.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline Storyweaver

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2014, 09:20:03 PM »
I called my gynocologist. I wasn't sure which route to take, but what we're going to do is try to have an ultrasound by next week. If anything odd comes up, we'll do a minor surgery where a tube will be placed down my stomach and we'll look around (I freaked out a little at the thought).

If she can't find anything wrong with my ovaries, she wants to refer me to a GI specialist.

Is this the right thing? I hope so. I'll do blood tests with my general physician too.
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2014, 09:49:40 PM »
Tissue is removed for biopsy all the time.  It doesn't necessarily mean that they're even suspicious of cancer.  I know that doesn't make it any easier, especially for those of us with HA.

Your Dr is being wise, and covering her butt.  Malpractice for OBs it out of control since the statute of limitations doesn't run out for birth errors.

Pelvic and ovarian pain are soooo incredibly common.
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Offline Storyweaver

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2014, 05:42:03 AM »
Tomorow I am having the ultrasound and feeling rather nervous. Its my boyfriends birthday too. And I am just scared they are going to see some giant white mass covering my ovaries or somewhere else in my abdomian, and I'll instantly know something is really wrong :(
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: I feel guilty talking about this again but I am on the verge of tears
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2014, 06:30:23 PM »
That's the reason that, during imaging tests, I close my eyes or stare at the ceiling.  I'll imagine all sorts of horrible things otherwise!  (Also, I can never see anything.  My doctor has tried to point things out to me on ultrasounds and I'm just like "Yeah, uh-huh, sure" when I literally see NOTHING!  LOL.  I just go along with it so it'll be over faster.)

(Ironically, I want to be an ultrasound tech.  Here's hoping this is something I can learn!)
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